Past and Present
by Almost-Awesome
Summary: Dean is a surgeon with a pretty average life. That is until and angel crash lands into it and makes Dean rethink everything he thought he knew. Now he is thrust into a world he was never prepared for, where angels and demons are all out to get him. Destiel Rated M for profanity, sex, and violence. Fair warning.
1. Stone Angels and Faded Jeans

**Chapter 1**: Stone Angels and Faded Jeans

Dean had never seen anyone in this bad of shape. The trauma nurses were milling around the bed, so many that Dean could barely see the mess of a man between them.

After hours of intensive surgery Dean got the man put together enough for him to be stable. He still looked like he had been through a meat grinder. His dark hair was plastered to his skull and the bruises that coved his skin made his pale skin even paler.

Dean kept a close eye on the man for several days with no change in his condition. Though the bruises and cuts healed remarkably quickly the man stayed in a comatose state.

After nearly a week one of the nurses paged him. Dean rushed down the hall, popping the door open and stopping in his tracks at the man he was faced with. The bruises and cuts were completely gone with not a single scar in sight. The man was sitting up and looking around the room with a rather quizzical expression. When he turned his gaze on Dean the doctor was worried his heart might stop. He'd never seen eyes so blue.

The man blinked slowly at him, his piercing blue eyes seemed to stare deeply into Dean's being and he felt suddenly shy.

Dean had never seen anyone in this bad of shape. The trauma nurses were milling around the bed, so many that Dean could barely see the mess of a man between them.

After hours of intensive surgery Dean got the man put together enough for him to be stable. He still looked like he had been through a meat grinder. His dark hair was plastered to his skull and the bruises that coved his skin made his pale skin even paler.

Dean kept a close eye on the man for several days with no change in his condition. Though the bruises and cuts healed remarkably quickly the man stayed in a comatose state.

After nearly a week one of the nurses paged him. Dean rushed down the hall, popping the door open and stopping in his tracks at the man he was faced with. The bruises and cuts were completely gone with not a single scar in sight. The man was sitting up and looking around the room with a rather quizzical expression. When he turned his gaze on Dean the doctor was worried his heart might stop. He'd never seen eyes so blue.

The man blinked slowly at him, his piercing blue eyes seemed to stare deeply into Dean's being and he felt suddenly shy.

"Um...hi." Dean crossed the room, his gaze sliding over the remarkably healed man sitting on the bed. "What's your name?"

"Castiel." The man said in a surprisingly gravely voice.

Dean blinked at him. "Where are you from?"

Castiel looked at him for another moment before his gaze dropped. "I...do not remember."

Dean nodded, grabbing the chart from the end of the bed. "Well that's not too surprising, you hit your head really hard. I'm surprised how well you're doing."

Castiel didn't move his penetrating gaze from Dean. "Thank you for allowing me to rest here, but I should be going soon."

Dean turned a stern gaze on the other man. "You can't leave. You were very seriously injured and you have to stay and rest."

Dean stuffed the clipboard under his arm. "Just stay. I'll send a nurse in to see you in a while."

Castiel stayed silent for a while after Dean left, his heart consumed by the hurricane of his thoughts.

Dean when to check on Castiel three more times that day, and each time he felt the same odd mixture of fascination and vulnerability. The man unnerved him, but Dean couldn't put a finger on why. It was probably the staring. Castiel was too still, and too quiet. He didn't seem to move much at all, and his overly intense eyes were like lasers staring into Dean's soul. That bright blue gaze seemed to follow Dean wherever he went in the room. If Dean hasn't heard him speak he would have thought Castiel was a marble statue, like the angels out front of the church by the hospital.

Dean turned to the man as he checked in on him once last time. "So, you don't have any pain or soreness or anything from the surgery?"

Castiel shook his head. "No, none. I am perfectly fine."

Dean huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "That has to be the most miraculous recovery I've ever seen."

Castiel didn't shift his gaze from Dean. "Thank you for allowing me to rest here, Dean."

"Oh, sure. It's hospital, that's what we do. See you tomorrow morning." Dean turned to go, excited to get home for the night.

It wasn't until he pulled into his driveway that he realized that he had never told Castiel his name.

"Castiel is such a mouthful. Can I just call you Cas?"

Castiel's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly. "If you would like to I have no reason to protest."

Dean laughed. "Sweet, so Cas it is. Well Cas, you've been here for a week, and you're doing so much better we've decided you can leave."

Castiel immediately tried to stand, and Dean grabbed him before the man could land on his face.

"Careful!" Dean chided.

Cas turned his gaze on the doctor and Dean felt like he was the one falling. That intense blue seemed to swallow him when he was this close.

"D-do you know where you'll go?" Dean hated himself for stuttering, and he was surprised to find he was genuinely worried for Castiel's welfare.

The other man shook his head, standing on his own power and taking a small step. "I don't. I would like to return home, but that's impossible."

Dean frowned. "Impossible?"

Cas nodded. "I will return, but not yet." He shook himself, smoothing out his hospital gown. "May I get my clothes back?"

Dean shuffled his feet. "Uh, yeah about that. Your clothes kind of got shredded by your accident…So they're gone."

Cas tilted his head again, and Dean would swear he could actually see the man's brain working.

"But we do have some that should b e about your size." Dean went out into the hall and returned with a neatly folded pile of clothes.

Cas thanked him and gingerly took the pile, setting it on the bed as he worked at the knots in his gown.

Dean stood outside while Cas changed, scribbling his number on the back of a business card for the hospital. He wasn't sure why he was so worried about Castiel's welfare, but he wanted to know that the man would be all right.

The door behind him popped open and Dean whirled around, stuffing the pen and the card in his white coat. "Oh good, they fit."

Cas looked like a new man in the clothes, even though it was just a solid blue t-shirt and faded jeans. The soft leather jacket was an old one of Dean's that had gotten too small for him, but it seemed to fit Cas perfectly.

Dean smiled gently, pulling the card back out of his pocket and holding it out. "My number is on the back in case you…need anything." Dean held out his hand to shake once Cas took the card. "I hope you find your life again man."

Cas stared at Dean's out-stretched hand like he was expecting something to happen. Dean dropped it awkwardly.

_Guess he doesn't shake._

Finally Cas looked up at Dean again. "Thank you for your help."

"Sure…do you want a ride to the bus station or something?"

Cas shook his head. "No, I will be alright." He smiled and Dean and turned and strode down the hall.

Dean stood there for a moment, struck in the afterglow of that smile. When he pulled himself out of it he fished his keys out of his pocket, deciding he'd head home a bit early for once.


	2. Fallen Angels

There was a church next to the hospital, and while Castiel would usually not associate with the human's organized religion he guessed he might as well try. Plopping himself down on a bench he put his head down to pray.

"Samadriel, can you hear me?"

There was a faint fluttering of wings and Castiel looked up to the man now sitting next to him.

"What happened to me Samadriel?" Castiel took in what must have been a new vessel for Samadriel, a rather scrawny but genuine-looking boy dressed in an outfit of a company that sold hotdogs.

Samadriel turned his kind blue eyes on his friend. "I'm sorry Castiel, but we're not sure what happened. All we know is you Fell."

Castiel felt his eyes widen even as the truth sank in. "Fell…"

Samadriel squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Clearly you have not lost everything, and we are sure you can regain yourself. You were not cast out, an you were not reborn, so there is a chance you can return to Heaven. Your Grace is still in tact, though I don't know why you can't access it."

Castiel's gaze fell to the cracked concrete sidewalk. "I will regain myself, and I will return home. Thank you Samadriel."

The other Angel squeezed Castiel's shoulder once more before he disappeared with a flutter of feathers.

Castiel sat there for a while longer on the bench before he pulled himself up. Whatever he was going to do he needed somewhere to stay, and since he was grounded for the time being he would have to find other means of transport. His stomach growled and he frowned. Food would have to be added to the list as well.

Pulling the card out of his pocket Castiel debated calling Dean. The man had seemed good, and he had said to call if Castiel needed anything…

First he had to find a phone. Digging in his other pockets Cas was pleased to find a wad of cash in the pocket of his jeans. It looked like there was enough for him to rent a room at a cheap motel for a few nights and maybe get something to eat at a diner.

Plopping down on a somewhat creaky bed in the cheapest motel in town Castiel tried to wrap his head around being tired. He had lost pieces of his powers before, he could remember it vaguely, but he had never felt so tired. Maybe he could even sleep…The Angel kicked off his shoes and curled up under the blankets for his first real night's sleep since Creation.

Castiel had been gone a week, and Dean hadn't heard a thing. He wasn't sure why he was so worried, but Cas had seemed so lost and innocent that Dean wondered how he would fare with his limited memories.

The doctors had pestered Cas for three days when he had woken up in the hospital about anything that he could remember about what happened to him. How had he hurt himself? Where was he from? Cas didn't have answers to any of them and the doctors had eventually given up.

Now Dean was sprawled on his leather couch, enjoying his day off to the fullest. He jumped when his phone rang, gabbing it off the coffee table and muting the TV.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dean."

Dean felt a tingle shoot down his spine. That gravelly voice was unmistakable. "Hey Cas, how are you?"

"You told me to call if you needed anything, and I am out of money. Would it be terribly inconvenient for me to come and stay with you for a while? I'm working on my memories and it shouldn't be too long before I can return home."

Dean blinked. "Uh, sure Cas, you can stay for a while." After listing off his address Dean turned back to the TV for a moment before adding. "I'm glad you're remembering." He waited for a response, confusion setting in when there was only silence. "Cas? Hello?"

"I'm here Dean."

Dean jumped, wheeling around to see Cas standing just a few feet behind him.

"Son of a bitch! How did you do that Cas?"

The man blinked at him. "Your door was open, so I let myself in."

Dean closed his phone, staring as Cas as he tried to calm his pounding heart. "Well don't do that! You scared the crap out of me!"

Cas cocked his head to the side. "I'm sorry."

Dean sighed, relaxing a bit as he took in the odd man's appearance. Cas looked rumpled, his face darkened with at least a week's worth of 5-o'clock shadow and his hair sticking up like it hadn't been washed in as long. He was still wearing the same clothes Dean had given him at the hospital.

"Dude, what have you been doing all week?"

Cas stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I've been trying to find myself. I remember who I am Dean."

The other man smiled, clapping Cas on the shoulder. "That's great! Err…who are you? If you don't mind me asking."

Cas leveled his gaze with Dean's. "I am an Angel of the Lord. I fell from Heaven and I have been looking to regain my Grace."

Dean stared at him silently for a long moment before he broke out laughing. It took him a few minutes to regain his composure and he looked up at Cas through his tears.

Cas looked at Dean with his usual amount of confusion, his head cocked slightly to the side and his eyes narrowed.

Dean wiped his eyes. "You must have hit your head a lot harder than I thought. I didn't think you had a sense of humor."

Annoyance crept into Castiel's expression. "Dean, I am not kidding with you. I fell from Heaven, and lost almost all of my powers. This last week I have been straining myself simply to be able to function as a human."

Dean frowned. "You've really bought into this crap, huh?"

Castiel's expression didn't change. "I'm telling the truth Dean, and I need your help. If I had my powers I could show you the truth of my words, but you will just have to have Faith."

Dean crossed his arms. "Is this some sort of ploy to get me to go to church or something? It's not going to work."

Castiel's eyes grew stormy. "Dean Winchester, I am an Angel of Our Father the Lord. **_You should show me some respect_**."

Dean stared at the smaller man as he spoke, a genuine tingle of fear settling in his chest. As Castiel spoke he seemed to grow in stature, his eyes darkening and the air crackling around them.

Once he had managed to calm his stuttering heart Dean took a step back. He had never felt anything like that before, and as disinclined as he was to believe him, Cas could be damn scary.

"Alright, so you're an angel. What could you possibly need from me?" Dean assumed it was best to play along until he could figure out what to do.

Castiel visibly relaxed. "For now just let me stay. It will tae a while for me to find ways to regain my Grace."

Dean nodded. Even if Cas was a crazy person he couldn't just kick him out on the street. Maybe Sam would know what to do…


	3. Wrath

"Why did you Fall in the first place? Did the other Angels kick you out?"

Castiel stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I don't know. I don't remember why I Fell, and I don't remember Falling."

Dean didn't move, his mind struggling to process everything.

"Well…first thing's first. You need a shower and some new clothes."

Cas blinked at him. "…alright."

Dean pointed. "First door on your right. I'll see if I can find you some clothes that will fit. Towels are in the upper left cupboard."

Cas nodded before shuffling off toward the bathroom.

Dean dug through his clothes, pulling out an old Metallica t-shirt that Sam had given him forever ago. One of the few awesome presents his Sasquatch of a brother had given him. Tossing the shirt on the bed Dean dug through the dresser, pulling a pair of jeans that he thought might fit and throwing a belt in for good measure. He gathered up the clothes, stopping at the door and going back for some boxers.

Dean knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey Cas, I got you some clothes. I'm going to leave them out here for you."

Dean heard the shower turn off a while later, changing the channel on the TV as he waited for Cas to show.

Cas appeared after another few minutes, tightening his belt and looking a lot better. He could still use a shave and his hair was sticking up.

Dean smiled at him. "You look a hell of a lot better man."

Cas perched on the couch, running his fingers through his damp hair and making it stick up worse.

Dean turned to look at the Angel. He still didn't believe in any of that crap, but if anyone was an angel he could imagine Castiel to be one. Of course without the wings and halo, but hell, it made more sense the longer he looked at the man. Cas looked like an office worker that had spent too many nights in a bar, but his eyes were the most intoxicating Dean had ever seen.

Cas fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "Thank you for the clothes."

Dean chuckled. "We need to take you shopping. My clothes don't really fit you."

Cas looked worried. "Shopping? I'm not really good at…interacting with people."

Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I noticed. Don't worry, I'll run damage control. It's just shopping for clothes." He clapped Cas on the shoulder. "I'll keep an eye out for you Angel."

Cas turned his intense gaze on Dean and he cracked a small smile that made the other man's heart stutter. "Thank you for your help Dean. I couldn't do this by myself."

Dean pulled his arm back awkwardly, mumbling about food and shuffling off to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, his head in his hands. Dean was sure he was going insane. Cas was making him act like a foolish teenage girl. Cursing to himself Dean pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was straight God Damnit! Or at least he thought so…

Yanking the fridge open Dean dug around and pulled out a sandwich he hadn't had time to finish the other day. Time to drown these thoughts in food and beer. Digging around in the fridge some more Dean pulled out assorted other leftovers. Too lazy to heat them up he plopped down at the table and started in on the pile of food.

Cas was channel surfing, using his finger as a remote. He was glad to have even minimal powers back, but it was still frustrating to be able to do so little. The path to getting his Grace back was beyond laborious. Castiel was tired to his bones, but he could barely sleep. There was enough power flowing through his veins to keep him awake, but not enough to keep him from being tired beyond anything he could remember.

There wasn't much that Castiel could remember, at least for the last few years. He remembered perfectly everything from Creation to his posting of guard on Earth with his garrison of brothers and spending all his time watching over all his Father's creations. However there was a huge gap that Cas couldn't seem to fill in that spanned the last few years. His memories started up again when he awoke in the hospital. Thinking about it for too long made his head hurt. Cas stopped on a fairly obscure channel, his eyes narrowing when he watched a man dressed as a pizza delivery boy conversed with a rather scantily clad woman.

Dean nearly ate himself sick, chugging three beers before he decided he was going to go out and get laid. Pushing himself up Dean went to brush his teeth and his hair. Cas was curled up on the couch, looking regrettably angelic. At least until Dean realized what he was watching.

"Really Cas? Porn? Some angel you are." Dean left the TV on, grabbing his keys and heaving a note for Cas on the coffee table.

Twenty minutes later Dean was in a bar in full flirt with an amazingly hot brunette names Caroline. She was perfect. Deep blue eyes outlined in smooth kohl, flawless skin, and a body that mad Dean's head swim. They talked for a while and Caroline's hand found its way to Dean's thigh. When she offered to let him take her home Dean was more than willing to jump at the chance. This was simple. Going to a bar and picking up a girl was nothing new. No Angels, no complicated feelings, just a damn good time.

Dean pulled the door open to his house, not surprised that Cas was still asleep on the couch. Caroline was glued to Dean's back, giggling when Dean took her hand and lead her to his room. She didn't notice Castiel on the couch.

Cas pulled himself awake a few minutes later, an uneasy feeling in his chest. He froze when he heard a moan float through the walls. The Angel went on the offensive, stalking through the house until he came to a locked room. He tilted his head to listen and it wasn't long before he heard another moan. The uneasy feeling crawled up his spine and Cas shoved the door, pleased when it flew open.

The scene that greeted him made Castiel's stomach turn. Dean was sprawled out on the bed, clearly caught in the throes of pleasure, but Castiel was focused on the girl, the monster, straddling Dean's hips.

The succubus hissed at him, and Cas felt revulsion gather in his chest. He crossed the space to the bed, grabbing the woman by the throat. "How _dare_ you touch him, you affront to nature."

Terror froze the monster's eyes as Castiel's grip on her tightened.

Dean pulled himself out of the haze of pleasure, cursing when he saw Castiel standing there holding Celeste by the throat.

"_Cas_! What the hell man?!" Dean tried to get up, but Cas turned to look at him and Dean felt like a thousand pound weight crashed down on his chest, pinning him to the bed. His throat closed and Dean struggled to breathe as a painful white light filled the room and he was forced to watch Castiel tear the girl apart, literally. Blood splashed everything, including the wrathful Angel.

When it was done the light disappeared and Dean floundered for a minute as his eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness.

Castiel was stone still. What was left of Celeste's body was gone, bits of ash littered the floor, but the blood was still there. It was everywhere. Cas turned to look at Dean and there was fear in his eyes. "Dean…"

Dean suddenly found he could move again and he scrambled to the other side of the bed, afraid his heart was going to jump out of his chest.

Cas looked down at himself, repulsed by the blood that was drying on his skin.

"…dude, you just ripped some girl apart. Like literally." Dean stared at the blood-soaked man, terrified out of his wits.

Cas looked at him again. "Not a girl, a succubus. She was a monster Dean. I saved you."

Dean stood up awkwardly, pulling a sheet around his waist. "Well…thanks I guess. Plus, I believe you now. You are one bad ass Angel. And you owe me a shirt."

**Author's notes c: : while I was gone on my trip I worked on this a bunch, so I'll be posting several new chapters in quick succession in between madly packing all my things for college. Please continue to let me know what you think!**


	4. Shopping for Angels

An overly cheery sales woman greeted Dean and Cas as they walked into the department store. Dean gave her a cordial smile and Cas looked around the huge store with interest.

"Can I help you find something?" She smiled, her ponytail bouncing.

Dean shook his head. "No, I think we're good."

Trying to drag Cas through the store was like walking with a giant toddler. Once Dean had finally managed to tow him to the section of the store they needed he was already exhausted. Plopping himself down on a bench he waved Cas off.

"Go find some stuff you like and bring it back to show me."

Dean watched Cas wander through the racks of clothes, tempted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

The previous night when Dean had finally calmed himself down enough and gotten redressed, he helped Cas set about cleaning the gruesome mess from every surface in the bedroom. Cas took a shower and Dean had debated burning the blood-soaked clothes but eventually just stuffed them in a bag in the back of his closet to be dealt with later. He hadn't said another word to Castiel until the next morning when he'd found Cas curled up on the couch sleeping and looking as innocent as could be.

Dean had made them breakfast and found himself unable to stay so surly at Cas when he was looking at the food like it was a gift from God himself.

He still didn't want to talk about it, to Cas or anyone, or anything supernatural but he could at least take the big dopey Angel out shopping for some halfway decent clothes.

Now Cas shuffled back over with an armload of t-shirts and a tan coat slung over his shoulder.

Dean picked through the shirts, holding them up and trying to pick out the best ones. "What's with the trench coat?"

Castiel put his arms in the sleeves, smoothing out some wrinkles self-consciously. "It's an overcoat, and I like it…"

Dean chuckled. "It makes you look like an office worker, but whatever, get it if you like it."

Castiel smiled at him and Dean felt his heart skip. "Alright. You don't have to thank me, just go get some pants and stuff."

After another hour Dean heaved the bags of clothes into the trunk of his Impala and Cas slid into the passenger seat, fiddling with the sleeves of his coat.

"You really like that thing, huh?" Dean drove with one hand on the wheel and the other trailing out the window.

Cas nodded. "It's comforting somehow."

Dean felt his skin crawl and he turned his gaze from the road back to Cas. The Angel was staring at him again.

"Dean…I-"

"Oh no Cas, don't even start. I'm still pissed at you, and I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

Cas closed his mouth, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry…"

Dean chewed his lip. "Don't apologize, just don't."

The rest of the ride was very quiet. When they got back to the house Dean helped Cas lug all the clothes upstairs to the guest room.

Cas cornered Dean after he had retreated to the kitchen while the Angel unpacked.

"Dean…I really think we should speak-"

Dean slammed his hands against the cold granite countertop. "God damn it Cas! I told you to leave it, so would you please just leave it? I just want a few hours of normal before I have to try to wrap my head around freaking Angels and monsters and whatever the Hell else you're going to throw at me alright?!" He had rounded on the Angel, his green eyes blazing as Dean Winchester stood face to face with a freaking Angel of the Lord.

Cas looked at him for a minute, his intensely blue eyes searching Dean's expression. "I'm-"

Dean grabbed him by the front of that stupid tan coat and shoved him. "If you say you're sorry I'm going to punch you in your face."

Cas straightened, staring silently again.

Dean turned on the spot and stalked into the other room. I'm going for a drive."

Cas curled up on the couch again as he heard Dean drive away. He hated having Dean angry with him, but if he wouldn't let Castiel explain he would never understand. The human was also in danger from any monster that could smell Castiel's Grace. It would become a beacon after a while and Dean would have a lot worse to worry about than a succubus.

Cas hadn't moved when Dean came back hours later. He was staring blankly at the television. If Dean hadn't been so drunk he would have felt bad. He had lost count of the drinks he had consumed while hopping from bar to bar, but it was enough to make the world blur at the edges.

"Hey Cas…" Dean plopped down on the couch next to the morose-looking Angel.

Cas turned his gaze on Dean. "You're very intoxicated Dean."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I am. I needed a drink in a big way. I mean really, Angels, A freaking monster lady that tried to eat me, what else is out there to kill me?"

Cas sighed. "A lot of things."

Dean huffed, pursing his lips as he thought. "I never read the Bible, but aren't Angels supposed to have puffy wings and halos?"

Cas rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to think of a way to explain. "We do have those things, though I wouldn't describe my wings as puffy, but only special humans can see them."

"Can you fly?" Dean was looking at him with awe now. "I friggin hate flying, but still, that would be pretty cool."

Castiel nodded. "Yes. I could fly if I was strong enough. I remember flying. It's…freeing."

Dean chuckled, his words a bit slurred. "That's great Cas. So how am I supposed to help you get your Angel mojo back?"

Cas dropped his gaze. "I honestly don't know. No Angel had Fallen this way before. For most they are either cast into Hell to suffer, of their rip out their Grace and are reborn as humans."

Dean frowned. "Well you don't fit either of those."

Cas fiddled with the sleeves of his coat. "Yes. My Grace is still in tact, I simply can't access it."

"You seemed pretty juiced up when you were tearing that…"

"Succubus." Cas provided.

"Yeah, that succubus chick. I mean you ripped her apart, not to mention the freaking blinding light."

Cas nodded. "It seems that the situation allowed me to access a portion of my powers, but without the proper motivation I can't do anything beyond human."

Dean laughed. "Motivation? Dude you went full on Wrath mode on that poor monster."

Cas smiled. "Wrathful…yes I guess I was." His smile turned a bit sad. "Being with humans will pollute me."

Dean chuckled, the alcohol in his system making him loopy. "Pollute you? Maybe you could use some polluting, Angel."

Pulling himself up Dean tried to stretch but nearly stumbled into the coffee table. "Ug…have to go to bed…work tomorrow…"

Cas stood as well; concerned that Dean would hurt himself.

Dean wobbled up the stairs, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Several hours later Dean woke with the feeling of being watched. He stayed still for a moment as he listened for any sound. When he didn't hear anything Dean slowly turned over, his eyes scanning the dark room. He jumped when he saw Cas perched on the opposite edge of his bed.

"Son of a bitch! What are you doing Cas?"

The Angel tipped his head, that confused look returning. "I was watching over you while you while you slept."

Dean glared at him, pulling his blankets closer. "Well don't!"

Castiel's expression didn't change. "I couldn't sleep."

Dean grumbled. "Well don't watch me. At least go downstairs and watch more TV or something."

Cas pulled himself up, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat and shuffling out of the room.

Dean sighed, relaxing back into the mattress. "Now he's going to pout, he's like a child."


	5. Friends or Something More?

**Author's notes at the beginning this time! **

**Warning! There is sex stuff in this chapter! I rated this M for that reason, if you're not cool with that then don't complain please.**

When the alarm went off Dean groaned, pulling his pillow over his head. "Too early…"

He found Cas curled up on the couch after Dean finished his shower. "Morning."

Cas didn't turn his gaze from the cooking show." Morning Dean."

"I'm not going to make breakfast today, probably just grab a coffee on the way in. Can you fend for yourself?" Dean yawned, glad he only had the smallest headache from all his drinking last night.

Cas turned to look at him now. "Can I come to work with you? I don't have anything to do."

Dean frowned. "No. I'm a surgeon Cas, it's not like you can help me. Just stay here and…do Angel stuff." He grabbed his keys and his coat. "Try not to break anything okay?"

Cas looked after Dean as he heard the car pull out of the driveway. What should he do today? Dean wouldn't be home until nine or ten that night, so Cas had the whole day to himself.

When Dean got home that night he thought for a moment he had walked into the wrong house. The place hadn't been so clean the whole time he had lived there. He tried to pick up, but after the long shifts at the hospital he was usually too tired to do any major cleaning.

Dean followed his nose to the kitchen, the heavenly smell of cooking meat and good wine, surprised by the scene that greeted him.

If the house was clean the kitchen had exploded. It looked like every dish in he whole house was dirty. Cas was at the stove spooning sauce over a beautifully plated dinner. The Angel turned to smile at him and Dean felt his heart flutter.

"Welcome home Dean, I cleaned and made dinner." Cas pulled off the apron, folding it nearly in his arms and turning the burners off. "I hope you're hungry."

Dean nodded, his mouth watering at the smell of dinner. "I didn't know you could cook."

Cas fiddled nervously with the apron, leaving his sleeves pushed up. "Well…I never have before, but I watched a show that made it seem easy."

Dean grinned, grabbing both plates and bringing them to the table. "What did you make?"

Cas sat across from him, handing Dean a glass of red wine. "Chicken Marsala and asparagus risotto with a spinach salad."

Dean blinked at him. "Wow, all kinds of fanciness. I can't wait to eat it." He grabbed his fork and dug into the food.

Dean leaned back in his chair when he was done, sighing contentedly. "That was awesome. You can definitely make me dinner whenever you want."

Cas smiled. "…thanks Dean, I'm glad you liked it."

"I'll do-" Dean stopped when he thought about how many dishes there actually were. "I'll _help_ you with the dishes."

Cas stood. "Okay, thanks. I'm sorry to have made such a mess."

Dean filled the sink with bubbles, smiling when he saw Cas gathering handfuls of the suds and grinning.

Once Dean had convinced Cas to stop playing with the bubbles and they finally finished all the dishes the two of them plopped on the couch.

Cas turned back on the TV and Dean put his feet up on the coffee table.

After a few minutes of silence Dean found himself distracted from the show and watching Cas instead. The Angel really was handsome, and the light from the TV cast his face in a soft light that made his eyes glow.

Cas turned to look at him. "Yes Dean? Do you need something?"

Dean shook his head. "No, sorry." Cas smiled at him and Dean felt blood rush to his cheeks.

"Your face is red Dean." Cas reached out and Dean leaned away before the Angel could touch his face.

"I-I'm just warm." Dean pulled away, scooting farther over on the couch. What was wrong with him? Dean dropped his gaze, berating himself for acting so awkward around his friend.

"Are we friends?" Cas threw another smile at Dean and the other man jumped.

"U-um yeah Cas, we're friends." Dean tried to push past the feeling that Cas had read his mind. "Why?"

Cas looked down at his lap, pulling at a string on the sleeve of that coat he had become so addicted to. "I don't recall ever having friends."

Dean frowned. "I thought you'd be friends with the other Angels?"

Cas shook his head. "They're my brothers and sisters, I care about all of them. I have had…I guess you could call them "brothers in arms," but not friends. Not the same as when I'm with you."

Dean reached over and squeezed Castiel's shoulder. "You must miss them. I mean, they're your family."

Cas brought his bright gaze level with Dean's. "I do, but I like it here on Earth as well."

Dean jumped when his phone started to shout, vibrating loudly on the office table. He grabbed it, flipping it open and pressing it to his ear.

"Hey Sam. Took you long enough to get back to me." Dean stood, slipping into the kitchen.

"Sorry, I was kind of working on Finals, trying to graduate."

Dean smiled. "Nice to hear from you too." It _was_ nice; even though they had never been the closest Dean still enjoyed spending time with his brother at the occasional ball game or night out.

Sam was finishing his last year of law school, determined to become a big-shot lawyer and take down bad guys. Dean was proud of him, and fully planned to brag about him when Sam made it big time.

"So, you've been single for a while now Sammie, have you found anyone~?" Dean popped his neck, being a surgeon was always stressful, but particularly when you came home to an Angel.

Sam grumbled, "Way to remember Dean, I've been dating the same girl the whole time I've been here. Jessica, remember?"

Dean frowned. He honestly had forgotten. "Sure, yeah."

Sam sighed. "Anyway, what's with the message you left me last time? How drunk were you?"

Dean frowned. "I wasn't even really drunk, and I was telling the truth. Remember that guy that was on the news, the one that like exploded? I patched him up and he went on his way, but now he's back and he's staying with me. He's a freaking Angel man, you have to believe me."

Sam was quiet for a few minutes. "…does he have wings?" He wasn't sure why he was willing to believe Dean, but he had never said anything crazy before in his life, and he was his brother.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, he says he does, but you can't see them. He's kind of strange… I mean, he's a freaking Angel, but beyond that he's like a little kid. He doesn't know what to do or what to say or anything. He can barely function. Other than that he's not what I would have expected at all. I found him watching porn the other day."

Sam chuckled. "Really?"

Dean frowned. "Actually, I wonder if Angels have sexual tastes of their own…maybe I should ask him."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you swung that way~"

"Shut up! I'm not swinging any way, I'm just curious!" Dean felt his cheeks flush at the thought.

"Sure you are. Now go hit on your Angel, I'll come visit you later. I gotta go find another book. Nice to hear from you Dean." Sam flipped his phone shut with another chuckle.

Dean stuffed his phone in his pocket with an angry grumble and slipped over to the couch to join Cas. He found himself blushing as he stared into that piercing blue. "…."

Cas blinked at him. "Your face is red again Dean."

"No shit." Dean rolled his eyes, silent for a moment as he willed the blush to stay away from his cheeks. "So uh…do you have any…sexual desire?"

Cas cocked his head, his eyes narrowing as he processed Dean's question. "I-I don't know."

"What? You've never felt horny?" Dean frowned. He usually would never in a million years talk to a guy like this, but Cas was different. Cas made his chest ache and his head swim by just looking at him.

Cas is silent as he thinks about Dean's question. "If you mean can I feel arousal then yes. Though it is new to me."

Dean shifted awkwardly. "Is it wrong for you to be aroused?"

Cas blinked at him. "No. It's a human response. It…it is wrong to act on it, that would make it a sin…"

Dean shifted closed. "You said you wanted to know more about human emotions. Do you want to know how arousal feels?"

Cas looked back at him, a blush spreading over his cheeks. "…yes…"

Dean shifted closer, shoving all his inhibitions aside. He didn't want to think about what he was thinking about doing, or what it would mean or anything at all. "Can I…?" He slid his hand onto Castiel's thigh.

Cas shivered, his pupils expanding as he stared into Dean's gaze. "Yes…"

Dean pulled the flustered Angel into his lap, pressing their lips together in a surprisingly chaste kiss and threading his fingers in that tousled black hair. His other hand moved down to undo said Angel's pants and slide his hand inside.

Cas gasped when Dean's tongue brushed his lips, letting himself relax a bit as their kissing deepened. The tension returned to his shoulders as Dean's fingers closed around his swollen length. "Haaa~!"

Dean pulled away enough to press hot kisses to Castiel's neck. "It's okay, you can tell me to stop if you don't want it…"

Cas sank his teeth into his lip, brain overloaded with pleasure.

"You like that huh? This is arousal Cas…and I'm going to give you even more."

Cas moaned. An achingly human sound pulled up from his chest. His fingers scrabbled at Dean's chest, finally anchoring themselves on his shoulders. There was an unfamiliar pressure building in his gut and he keened. "D-dean-! I-!"

Dean grinned, pressing their lips together again and drinking in the sounds the trembling Angel was making.

Cas threw his head back as the coil of pleasure snapped and his vision and the room were bathed in piercing white light.

Dean smiled against his neck as Cas trembled through the aftershocks, breathing in the warm smell of Castiel's skin. He smelled like an Angel should smell, a bit like rain and sharply clean, a smell that could not exist on Earth.

After a few moments the awkwardness set in and Dean pulled away, realizing what he had done. Cas curled up on the couch, blinking up slowly as Dean scooted farther away.

Dean felt the blush return to his cheeks and he looked down at his hand, the sticky whiteness drying on his skin. "Uh…" The embarrassment burned hot in his chest and he retreated up the stairs. "I'm going to bed…"

Cas looked after him; barely able to keep his eyes open at all anymore. He couldn't remember being so tired. It only took a few more moments for him to drift off into the deepest sleep of his life.

**More Author's notes: I have started college now c: my classes officially start tomorrow! So I don't know how much free time I'll have, but I am definitely not abandoning this fic. **


	6. Confessing Your Sins

**Author's notes: before the chapter as a warning c: There's going to be sex in this chapter, though I rated it is rated M so I hope you would get it.**  
**This chapter turned out really really long, but I hope that you like it anyway! Sammie is coming in soon!**

Cas woke up slowly, his stomach whining for food. He uncurled from the ball he had squished himself into through the night and pulled himself up slowly, his back popping as he stretched.

Padding into the kitchen Cas pulled open the fridge, looking through the smattering of leftover food and deciding on a peach. Sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of the fruit. There was an itching in the back of his mind, and he finally indulged it, confronted with the memory of the night before. He stopped in his tracks, his grip on the defenseless peach tightening until it was jelly in his fingers.

He remembered almost too vividly the feeling of Dean's fingers on his skin. The lust that had seared through him had been so intense the thought made him shiver. The burn of shame started deep in his chest.

Some Angel he was… He had truly fallen. Wrath _and_ Lust... He wondered if he would ever get his Grace back. Or if he deserved to…

Maybe he should talk to Dean.

Dragging himself up the stairs Cas couldn't help but feel the build of trepidation in his chest. He pulled the door to Dean's bedroom open and crossed the space to the bed, hesitating for a moment before shaking Dean gently.

"Nnnn… too early. Go away…"

Cas wilted. "Dean…"

Dean turned over slowly, his sleep dosed brain slow to regain itself. "Cas…" He gave a small smile when his eyes caught the soft blue of Castiel's. Then his eyes widened when he was slammed with the memory of the night before. Jolting into a sitting position he pulled the sheets tighter around himself. "What is it? Did you really have to wake me up?"

"Dean…I think we need to talk."

Dean turned away, shame burning hot in his chest. "No. I'm not- Would you just get out?!"

Cas cocked his head at the sudden anger in Dean's voice. "Dean-"

"Get out!" Dean turned back to glare at him. "I don't want to see your stupid face right now!"

Cas took a half step back, Dean's aggression catching him off guard.

Dean pulled himself out of bed, stepping closer to Castiel and shoving his palms into his chest. The Angel took another step back, looking quite like a kicked puppy.

"Get out of my house! I don't want to see your God damn stupid face!" Dean pushed past the stunned-looking Cas, stalking down the stairs.

When he got to the kitchen Cas was standing there in the doorway with a pleading look on his face. "Dean please."

"Shut up! And don't use your crazy ass Angel crap on me!" Dean spun on his heel and pulled open his coat closet, nearly slamming it back closed when he was confronted with Castiel again.

"Would you stop with the freaky teleportation or whatever?! It's too damn early for your freaky Angel shit! Get out of my house!" Dean turned around again and once again Cas was there. Dean grabbed him, fisting the lapels of his stupid coat. He had the mad thought of kissing the pathetic excuse for an Angel, but shoved the thought and Cas away. "If you're here in the next few seconds I'm going to punch you in your damn face."

A gust of wind ruffled Dean's hair and when he turned around again Cas was gone. Dean crumpled in on himself, his head full of so many thoughts he was worried it would explode.

Cas landed in a park. He wasn't sure what made him choose this one, but he plopped down in the soft grass, his fingers digging into the plush matt of vegetation. Dean was beyond angry with him. The thought made his chest ache, but not as much as the thought of what had happened last night. What was wrong with him… To let something like that happen… He really was a failure of an Angel. No wonder he Fell. If this was how he conducted himself he deserved more than to be banished to Earth. He put his face in his hands, shame burning through him again. If Dean never spoke to him again he was getting off easy.

Dean sighed, glancing over at the clock and processing the time before heading back to his room to get dressed. He had interns to train, patients to slice open and absolutely no time to think about that damn angel that had been festering in his mind for the past 12 hours. Enough was enough, everything had its limits right? There was no way he was going to fall any harder for him, this was the end.

After a long, long day of burying himself in work Dean decided it would be best to go for a drink or ten. He chewed his lip before downing another shot. What was bothering him the most was that it _hadn't_ bothered him. It _hadn't_ felt wrong to touch Cas, to kiss him... What, did he live in a porno or something? People didn't just do that…

He was on call for the rest of the night, and some time between one and two Dean's phone beeped. Pulling it out of his pocket he downed the last of his drink, waving a waitress over and handing her some extra for his tab. "For next time, sweetheart."

The little blonde giggled and flipped her hair. Dean knew he should have been hitting on her, but he just wasn't feeling it. Every time he looked at a hot girl in the bar Cas would pop back in his head. That damn Angel was driving him absolutely insane.

The sudden influx of work at the hospital kept Dean busy for several more hours. It wasn't worth going home just to come back for his swing shift he had traded with one of the new RN's. Really he just didn't want to go home. Burying himself in work was the easiest way to get his mind off of a certain Angel. Dean crashed on a couch in one of the break rooms in a break between craziness.

When he awoke Dean was surprised to find a sandwich and a cup of juice waiting for him.

_Cas… _

It had to have been Cas. None of the interns liked Dean. They either hated him outright or wanted to get in his pants. The thought that the Angel was watching over him made Dean's chest squeeze. It was cheesy, but it was cute.

When Dean finally got to go home he was exhausted, but his mind wouldn't let him sleep. He found himself popping open another bottle of whiskey and flopping onto the couch.

It was starting to get light again outside and Dean was quite drunk. He had lost count of how many times he had topped off his glass, but the bottle was quite a bit emptier. Cas stood over his shoulder, worry etched into his face. The Angel was still invisible, but he was growing tired from the strain of using his weakened Grace for so long to stay out of sight while he had watched Dean.

Sinking his teeth into his lip Castiel brushed his fingers over Dean's temple, and the inebriated man dropped onto the couch, unconscious.

Castiel gathered him up in his arms and tucked Dean safely in bed, letting his fingers brush over the man's cheek again as he watched him curl up into a more comfortable position.

When Dean woke in the morning he groaned at the headache that ripped into his skull.

"Shit… I drank _way_ too much." He whined, covering his eyes with his arm.

After a few more moments Dean rolled over to check the time, a small smile breaking through his grimace of pain at the bottle of ibuprofen and the cup of water that awaited him.

_He really is an Angel. _

Downing the pills Dean sat up slowly. He would feel like crap until he could eat a decent meal to soak up the alcohol in his stomach. He settled on the basics, eggs, bacon, and some toast.

He set out two plates and sat down, setting his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands. "Are you going to come out now?"

Cas appeared silently behind him. "You told me not to come back…"

Dean sighed, turning to look over his shoulder. "Obviously you're not doing that anyway. Come eat."

Cas drifted over to the table, pulling the chair back and gazing at the food for a few moments before he picked up his fork.

Dean yawned. "Thanks for taking care of me." He sank his teeth into his lip as he watched Cas nibble at some bacon.

The Angel piled scrambled eggs on his toast and took a big bite. "Of course Dean…"

"How is recovering your Grace going? You can fly now?" Dean skewered some eggs on his fork.

Cas nodded. "Yes, I can fly now…but… I've sinned Dean…I don't know if I deserve to be accepted back into Heaven." He looked up slowly.

Dean dropped his gaze to his plate. "I'm sorry… It wasn't right for me to push it on you…"

There was several minutes of super awkward silence, both of them poking at their food and looking anywhere but each other.

"If you…are locked out, you could stay with me. If that makes you any happier."

Cas looked back up at him, a small smile on his lips. "Thank you Dean…" He reached over and squeezed Dean's fingers.

Dean looked at their hands. "It really wasn't right for me to force anything on you…"

Cas chuckled. "I'm an Angel Dean, you can't force me to do anything."

Dean grinned. "That sounds a bit like a threat Angel."

Cas offered a forkful of eggs and Dean fastened his mouth around the warm metal of the fork, looking into Castiel's slightly confused expression and grinning.

When they finished Cas gathered up their plates, setting them in the sink and going to join Dean on the couch.

Dean sat awkwardly, his back stiff and his gaze averted.

Cas tipped his head and looked over at the clearly stressed man. "What's wrong Dean?"

"I'm just getting used to…everything." Dean let the silence drop down again, wringing his hands.

Cas rested his hand on Dean's twitching fingers. "You mean getting used to me."

Dean looked up at him slowly. "I care about you… but I'm not really used to this. Any of it."

Cas brushed his fingers over Dean's cheek, not missing the slight flinch. "It's alright. We can…take it slow. If you want."

Dean chuckled. "You've been watching too much TV Angel, you're starting to sound like a soap opera." He steeled himself for just a moment before pressing their lips together for just a fraction of a second. "I'll be fine, don't worry."

The silence descended again, though it wasn't anywhere near as awkward as it had been. Dean's thumb made soothing circles on the back of Castiel's hand.

They sat there for a long time, and Dean eventually found himself with his head in Castiel's lap, the Angel running his fingers through Dean's spiked up hair and making it stick up all sorts of directions. Dean let him, keeping his other hand prisoner under his cheek, enjoying the warm feeling that had bloomed in his chest.

The movie they were watching was some bad horror flick, an old one where the effects were laughably bad but you somehow looked past that for the sake of the show. Dean wasn't sure which one is was, but there was a pretty hot blonde and that was alright.

Then there was the sex scene.

Dean shifted a bit, feeling awkward again. He turned his head to look up at Cas and found the Angel was looking down at him, his eyes filled with emotions Dean didn't want to think about. Instead he just pulled himself up and pressed their lips together.

Cas was a terrible kisser, but what had he been expecting really, from an Angel? He was enthusiastic enough, but sloppy. Dean twisted in his lap to make the angle less awkward, sitting up and pressing their lips together a bit more forcefully. He brought one hand up to cup the back of the Angel's head, his fingers twining in his soft dark hair, and the other rested on his chin, gently controlling the kiss.

Cas was a fast learner, and Dean could tell he was really trying his best to imitate what he was being shown. He pressed closer when Dean's tongue flicked over his bottom lip, his hands alighting on Dean's shoulder and his thigh.

Dean pulled away for just a moment to take in the sight of the flushed and panting Angel. His eyes were dark and his lovely lips were swollen already from kissing.

Cas reached for him, a small sound slipping from his mouth as he pulled their lips back together.

They share slow kisses for a long while. Dean found himself on his back and had to pull away again, suddenly feeling trapped. He pushed on Castiel's chest and the Angel pulled back, his eyes hazy and his breath coming in little huffs.

Cas stayed at arms length while Dean composes himself, embarrassment clear on his features.

"I'm sorry…" He chewed his lip and Cas struggled not to kiss him again. "I'm okay now…"

Cas stayed still until Dean pressed their lips back together, surprised when Dean pulled him back down, his hands finding their way into the Angel's coat.

Dean's kisses became hurried, his tongue worming its way between Castiel's lips and a small moan rumbled from his chest when their tongues rub together.

Castiel forgot to breath as their kissing became needy, heavy. He pulled away for a moment, resting his forehead on Dean's.

"Dean…"

The man beneath him did not look like someone wracked with pleasure, fear flashed through his eyes before he tried to press their lip back together. Castiel pulled farther away.

"Dean, if you want to stop…"

Dean whined, sitting up too. "I don't…want to stop. I-" his gaze fell again. "I want to be able to do this…"

Cas brushed his fingers over Dean's cheek again. "Dean, you don't have to force yourself to do anything."

Dragging his gaze back up Dean smiles a little. "I _want_ to do this. I really do… It's just hard."

Cas smiled slightly. "We can do whatever you want."

Dean kissed him again; surprised by the way his worry dissipated with those few words. This was Cas, of course he could trust Cas. He let that feeling bloom in his chest as he pulled the Angel against him again, laying back on the soft leather of the couch and groaning at the feeling of Castiel's weight on him.

The worry in his chest was a quickly forgotten memory as new emotions filled Dean's body. He pressed their hips together and lust shot through him when he felt how hard the Angel was. Suddenly he had to see it, see every inch of Castiel's skin laid out for him to touch, and lust burned through him so strongly that he felt dizzy for a moment.

Flipping their positions Dean tore at Castiel's clothes, grumbling about too many layers.

Cas just laid back and smiled demurely up at him, a small gasp escaping his lips when Dean's fingers found skin.

Dean reveled in the soft planes of Castiel's chest. Who knew he would be so lean? Under all those layers was a body that made Dean's mouth water. Dragging his lips across soft skin Dean growled when Castiel's fingers threaded through his hair.

Dean smirked up at the trembling Angel, his fingers going to work on the button on the Angel's pants. He pulled everything down in one tug, admiring the way his prick bounced back up to curve against his belly.

The way Cas was looking at him made Dean shudder. The expression "a smoldering look" had never been more fitting. Castiel's eyes seemed to glow faintly as he stared down at the man between his legs. A flush crept up Dean's neck and he found he couldn't look away.

Dean had never given a blowjob, but he'd received a fair few, and he was sure he could do an admirable job, especially if it was someone like Cas who had no frame of reference. Sinking down between the Angel's legs Dean laid soft kisses on his lover's trembling thighs, working his way up to press a kiss to the base of his swollen prick.

Cas gasped softly, making a choked sound when Dean settled his mouth around the cherry red head of his twitching cock.

It wasn't entirely unpleasant, and Dean felt like he could almost get used to the heavy feeling of having something like that in his mouth if Cas continued to enjoy it so much. He slurped his way down the shaft, running his tongue along the bottom and drinking in Castiel's groan of pleasure.

Cas was in Heaven, well, as close as he had been for a long time. The feeling of the warm suction on his aching manhood was making his eyes cross and embarrassing sounds slid from between his lips. He felt a hot, heavy, tightness coiling in his gut and gasped, trying to warn Dean.

"D-dean-!"

The other man just smirked at him, giving his cock a few more licks before pulling away.

Cas whined piteously at the loss of suction. "Dean…"

Dean pressed their lips back together, grinding their hips together and hating the layers of clothes he still had on.

Sitting back on his knees he tugged his shirt off over his head, chuckling when Cas brought his hands up to feel Dean's muscles.

"Like what you see Angel?" Dean set to work on his pants.

Cas nodded, his fingers trailing over the planes of Dean's chest. "You are quite muscular."

Dean grinned, pressing their lips back together as he kicked off his jeans. "You can touch me any time Angel."

Cas pulled away for just a moment, trying to think through the haze that had invaded his brain. "Do you have lubrication?"

Dean felt his cheeks bloom in a blush but he nodded, sliding off the couch to grab a bottle from the coffee table. Even though Cas didn't ask Dean felt the need to explain himself. "Sometimes I watch porn out here okay? I have needs."

Cas grinned, a slightly dopey and sincerely happy smile that Dean had never seen before, it made his heart squeeze. "I understand Dean, lust is a basic human instinct."

Somehow hearing him explain it didn't make Dean blush any less. "Yeah alright." He crawled back onto the couch, popping open the bottle of lube.

"Um, you don't mind bottoming right…?"

Cas blinked up at him. "I assumed that you would want to be the bottom, since you were the one to initiate this."

Dean sputtered. "I-I never said I would be-" He paused, seriously considering the options he was presented with. Both seemed equally appealing at the moment. Cas did have a great cock, Dean should know, it had just been in his mouth. The thought of it stroking his insides made Dean squirm, and as much as he would deny it later it sounded awesome to not have to be the one putting in the work for once.

"Fine. I'll bottom this time, but not all the time." He huffed.

Cas kissed his forehead, sitting up slowly. "Of course." He took the tube of lube from Dean and scooted so that Dean could lay back down. "Would you rather we do this in your bed?"

Dean nodded, taking Cas by the hand and towing him toward the stairs, their clothes a forgotten mess on the floor.

Cas pushed him down onto the soft bed when they reached Dean's bedroom, licking Dean's ear gently. "Dean, you know I am a warrior, and I have learned how to inflict supreme pain on my enemies. Do you think I cannot also bring great pleasure?"

The question made Dean tremble, and he spread his legs without thinking, settling them around Castiel's waist and grinding their hips together again. "God you'd better…"

Cas smirked against Dean's neck, rocking their hips together slowly. "I want to learn to be a great lover to you."

The flush returned to Dean's neck and he pressed their lips together once more. "Stop teasing and do it already…"

* * *

Dean woke up some time in the night, a moment of disorientation plaguing him as he tried to figure out where he was.

Realization hit him like a train. He was in bed, the sticky feeling on his skin wasn't just drying sweat, and the warmth pressed up against his chest was Cas. After another moment of feeling like he was having a panic attack Dean pulled himself together, letting himself nuzzle into Castiel's sleeping form, the soft smell of fading ozone clinging to the Angel's skin. He was so sweet… Of course Dean had fallen for him…


	7. Caterpillers, Wings, Sam, and Ben

Dean pulled himself awake slowly, stretching and turning over as the sun streamed in through the sheer window curtains. He took in a sharp breath when he saw Castiel standing silently in front of the warm sunlight. It wasn't the Angel's perfect skin that made Dean's heart skip, though that was definitely worth noticing, it was the dark shape of wings that flowed gracefully into his shoulders that left Dean staring openly.

He really had wings… Beautiful black wings that shifted as he breathed and caught the light in kaleidoscopic rainbows of deep obsidian. They looked so soft… Dean couldn't help but reach out to stroke the feathers, finding them even softer than he imagined.

Cas jumped at the touch, turning and showing him the softest smile that Dean had ever seen.

"Good morning Dean."

Dean didn't drop his hand from the soft feathers. "I didn't think you really had wings… Like physical wings."

"I manifested them, just to see if I could." Cas rolled his shoulders and the feathers shifted in Dean's fingers. The tips of the longest ones brushed Dean's cheek and the human smiled.

"That's really cool. That mean's you're really getting some serious Angel mojo back huh?" Dean sat up slowly, brushing his fingers over Castiel's jaw and pressing their lips together briefly.

Cas nodded. "It seems to be returning more and more quickly."

Dean pulled his Angel onto the bed, snuggling up with him and enjoying the feeling of his surprisingly soft feathers on his skin. "I'm dead in love with you Angel…"

Cas smiled softly. "I have much love for you Dean. It makes me feel light again."

Dean smiled again, brushing his lips over Castiel's forehead. "I would usually have a cheesy line about Heaven missing an Angel, but somehow it doesn't seem funny now."

They curled up together again, Castiel's wings fading after a few more minutes of allowing Dean to pet them. "We should go on a date." Dean brushed his fingers over the returned smoothness of Castiel's back.

Cas looked up at him. "A date? Like in the movie the other night?"

Dean grinned. "Yeah, kind of like that, but with more emotional baggage and a lot more sex." He felt his heart swell when Cas smiled. The Angel looked good when he smiled, it fit him in a way that made his whole face light up, and his eyes crinkle at the edges.

"I've never been so happy to have a day off. No way am I moving from this bed today."

Cas relaxed into the soft bed. "Maybe move enough for breakfast?

Dean stretched. "I guess I can do that. Maybe we can go to the park today. The news said it was supposed to be our last really nice day for a while."

After a few more minutes of cuddling and a simple breakfast of eggs and sausage Dean pulled on his favorite coat and slid his hand into Castiel's.

A little finch in a tree almost immediately distracted the Angel, he tilted his head as the little bird watched him. "He's adorable."

Dean chuckled. "He has pretty feathers, though not as pretty as my Angel."

Cas squeezed his hand. "I thought you didn't like "chick flick moments?"

"I'm entitled to a few every now and again." He pressed their lips together gently. "C'mon, let's go."

When they reached the park Cas dropped Dean's hand, practically bouncing through the grass as he watched the butterflies flutter around. He gathered a caterpillar on his finger, holding it up to his nose. "He's like a fuzzy moustache Dean."

Dean felt his heart swell as he watched the Angel practically frolicking in the park. Who would have thought serious bad-ass Angel Castiel could be so cute.

A group of children ran past them to the basketball court, bouncing a slightly deflated ball back and forth to each other.

Dean managed to get Cas settled on a bench after a few more minutes, smiling as he watched the Angel take in the surrounding nature.

Cas watched the children with a small smile on his face, resting his forearms on his thighs and lacing his fingers together. "Somehow, watching humanity never gets old."

Dean hummed. "How could you find us that interesting? I'd empty my bank account to watch Angels for a day."

Cas sighed, his gaze falling to his hands. "We're not that interesting in comparison. Being an Angel… it is not as pleasant as it sounds."

Dean squeezed his hand again. "Still, being an Angel has its perks."

Cas gave him a small smile. "Yes, like being able to watch over you."

Dean felt his cheeks burn. "And I'm the one who has chick flick moments. C'mon Angel, let's go home."

Cas pulled himself from his doze against Dean's chest when he heard a sharp knock on the front door. Dean didn't move, but he did whine softly when Cas got up, curling into the sheet that had found its way downstairs in the midst of their return from their date. Really it had consisted of going to a diner and ordering out when Dean hadn't been able to keep from arguing with a man at the jukebox about music. Cas hadn't minded though, had enjoyed the food immensely, and enjoyed the company even more from the comfort of Dean's living room.

Cas remembered to pull the blanket over Dean's rather obvious nakedness and fix up his own clothes enough to be presentable before opening the door. A very tall man with soft-looking caramel colored hair and inquisitive eyes greeted him.

"Uh, morning."

Cas looked up at him, wondering why he would be here. "Good morning. What brings you here?"

The man ran his fingers through his hair in what looked to be a nervous habit. "Oh, I'm Sam, Dean's little brother." He held out his hand after a moment's hesitation. "You're Castiel?"

Cas held out his hand like Dean had shown him, allowing Sam to shake his hand briefly. "Yes, Dean has told me a bit about you. Would you like to come in?"

Sam didn't miss the form of his brother sprawled out into the couch, and he poked his foot, grinning when Dean twitched awake.

"God damnitt! Sam! What the hell are you doing here?" Dean grabbed the slipping blanket and hoisted it up.

Sam grinned. "Morning sleepyhead. You said I could come visit you. Aren't you going to introduce me to your Angel?"

Dean blushed. "Um, let me get some pants." He tightened the towel around his waist and shuffled upstairs.

Cas curled up on the couch, looking at Sam inquisitively.

The silence was awkward until Dean returned, pulling a t-shirt over his head. "Sorry." He flopped down next to Cas and Sam saw the Angel's fingers come to rest intertwined with Dean's. "So Sam, this is Castiel… I um…I don't really know what else to tell you."

Sam turned his attention to the intense-looking man. "You seem to have Dean convinced… But really, an Angel?" He frowned.

Cas straightened his spine. "I _am_ an Angel, I Fell from Heaven and I've been spending my time regaining my powers so I can return."

Sam raised an eyebrow, looking the man over. "You certainly seem intense enough to be an Angel… Dean's not religious, so if you managed to convince him I believe you."

Dean grinned. "I told you Sammie, a real Angel. You should have seen him when they brought him in to the ER, he looked like he'd been dropped off a comet."

Cas looked over at Dean and Sam could see the love reflected in his expression. Only Dean could make an Angel fall for him.

"Dean put me back together, he really saves people."

Sam grinned. They sure were sweet together. "So Castiel, what is Heaven like?"

Cas looked over at him, his gaze darkening. "It's…" he chewed his lip. "Humans would experience it differently. I don't know how to describe it in a way you could understand."

Dean reached over to squeeze the Angel's shoulder. "Sam will pester you with questions until you want to punch him. Let's not right now, okay?" He looked back over at Sam. "You can ask him later. Let's eat."

Sam felt the conversation was definitely over and he sighed. "Alright."

Cas stood, standing up and heading toward the kitchen. "I'll make something."

Sam and Dean sat in silence for a minute before Dean sighed deeply. "Way to make it awkward Sammie."

Sam folded his arms. "Sorry, but how is that not the first question you ask? He's an Angel Dean, how have you not asked anything like that?"

Dean frowned. "Because, obviously it's a sore topic for him. He doesn't know why he Fell, and I didn't want to bring it up." Dean sighed. "I don't want to push him away."

Sam had a million questions pounding in his head, but he understood what Dean meant. It wasn't fair for him to expect Cas to open up to him. He seemed a lot like Dean when he came to sharing feelings.

"Only you would have an Angel as a roommate." Sam chuckled. "You didn't tell me you guys were _that_ close."

Dean sputtered, crossing his arms again. "It wasn't like I planned for it, it just kind of happened. Shut your face."

Sam smiled at him. "It's okay man, I can't say I'm too surprised."

Dean scowled at him. "Shut up Bitch." He huffed, pushing himself up to head toward the kitchen.

"Jerk." Sam's smile widened, and he stayed curled up happily on the couch.

The three of them shared a lovely dinner, Sam unable to keep from smiling every time Dean tutted at something cute Castiel did. It had been a long time since Sam had seen his brother his happy. Lisa had seemed like a good match, but that hadn't lasted as long as Sam had expected...

As soon as the thought filtered through Sam's brain Dean's phone rang. He looked at it guiltily and excused himself to answer it. Sam didn't miss the slightly confused look Castiel gave Dean as he scuttled into the living room.

So Cas didn't know about Lisa? Sam sighed, pushing his vegetables around on his plate. Leave it to Dean to do something stupid like not tell his boyfriend about his complicated relationship with his ex girlfriend.

When Dean returned Castiel hadn't lost his slightly confused expression, his finger's brushing Dean's across the table when Dean picked up his fork again.

Sam chuckled, sinking his teeth into a perfectly steamed piece of broccoli, wondering how Dean was going to manage to explain that later.

Sam slept in the guest room, glad that he didn't have to sleep on Dean's couch, no matter how comfortable it was. Dean poked his head in the door just for a moment to say goodnight before he slipped into his own room after his Angel.

Cas shrugged off his shirt, curling up under the blankets and waiting for Dean to join him. The phone call at dinner plagued the back of his mind, but he didn't want to ask unless Dean brought it up.

Dean dawdled before joining Cas in bed, hoping the Angel would have forgotten about the awkward mess at dinner. From the expression he was giving him he had not.

"About dinner…"

Cas was silent, his eyes big and blue as ever.

"That was Lisa that called, my ex girlfriend… More like ex fiancé actually. She has a son, Ben. He's mine… I don't see him very much, because Lisa lives so far away… but sometimes she lets him call me."

Cas shrunk into himself, the curl of jealousy mixing with others he did not know by name. "Oh…"

Dean took the Angel's face in his hands. "I can't just abandon my son, he deserves better than that, but my relationship with Lisa is over, and I'm with you now. You don't need to worry about anything Angel." Dean brushed his knuckled over Castiel's cheek. "Alright?"

Cas nodded, brushing their lips together after a moment. "I understand. You love your son, and you want to be a good father to him. However, why did she call you?"

Dean chuckled, resting their foreheads together. "She wanted to ask if she could bring Ben over this weekend, she's in town for a conference and thought he would enjoy spending some time with me."

"Mmm…And what are you going to say about me?" Cas twined their fingers together.

Dean grinned. "We'll figure it out, don't worry. I'm glad Sammie could come visit though."

Cas nodded, resting his head on Dean's chest and allowing the sudden change in subject. "Yes, it is nice." He relaxed into Dean's warmth, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Dean sank his teeth into his lip, annoyed when his stomach growled again, too busy to have taken a break to eat. He whined, annoyed when the PA pinged, announcing that they had another ambulance full of people that needed immediate attention. He had stayed up way too late with Sam and Cas the last night, and he was already exhausted before having to slog through a really long day of work.

One of the nurses forced him to take a break and he made his way up to the roof, glad someone had finally brought a chair up there. Flopping into it he sank his teeth into his lip. "God I'm starving."

"Hello Dean."

Dean jumped, looking over his shoulder to see his Angel with an armload of food.

"You think I'd get used to you popping in and out." He smiled when the Angel pressed their lips together.

"I brought you lunch. I could hear your stomach growling from home." Cas held out a nicely folded over brown bag. "It's pretty simple, but I thought you would like it."

Dean pulled the bag open, grinning at the beautiful-looking sandwich and sinks his teeth into the soft bread.

"And this is why I love you. How could I have lived without you." Dean grinned, taking another big bite of his sandwich and grinning up at his Angel.

Cas smiled, a small blush on his cheeks. "It's just a sandwich, but thank you." Cas stuffed his hands in his pockets as Dean continued to devour the food.

Dean looked up from licking the crumbs off his fingers. "Ben is coming over tonight. Did Sammie make it on his way okay?"

Cas nodded. "He said he would send you a text message when he got back to Stanford."

Dean stood, brushing a few more crumbs off his coat. "It was nice of him to be able to come visit, and I know you'll like Ben."

Cas nodded again, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets.

Dean kissed his cheek. "Don't worry Angel. I have to get back to work, I'll see you when I get home alright?"

Dean was actually able to focus when he returned to work, happy that his stomach was full.

The rest of the day was fully busy, and the remaining hours flew by. When it was finally time to go home Dean was overjoyed.

Cas wasn't there when Dean got home, but there was a sticky note on the fridge.

_Went out to explore the neighborhood. There's a snack in the fridge in case you're hungry. Be home later. _

_ -Castiel._

When Cas turned the corner to go back to the house he saw there was another car in Dean's driveway. He felt his chest squeeze, even though he knew it was probably Lisa.

The Angel reached for the doorknob, but it was pulled out of his hand and he was face to face with a rather beautiful woman. He stared silently. She blinked at him, standing for a minute before brushing past him without a word.

Cas stood there until she drove away, then he shook himself and forced himself inside.

Dean was perched on the couch, chatting animatedly while he flipped through channels on the TV.

Cas coughed and Dean twisted, throwing a smile at him. "Hey Cas. Ben, this is Cas."

The boy sitting next to Dean turned to inspect Castiel. Cas felt his chest squeeze when he saw the boy in better light. There was no mistaking that this was Dean's son.

"It is nice to meet you Benjamin." Cas shoved his hands in pockets, slowly going over to sit on the chair kitty-corner to the couch. He wanted to sit by Dean, but he wasn't sure Dean would want him to.

They sat in relative silence while Dean chattered away at Ben, asking him questions about school and how things had been going in general. Cas sat quietly, his gaze stuck to the TV.

"What sounds good for dinner bud? Anything you want."

Ben chewed his lip as he thought, his eyes lighting up after a moment. "Chicken sounds good. Maybe like that time we went out on my last birthday?"

Dean nodded. "I need to go to the store for that." He turned to the morose-looking Angel. "Can you hang out with Ben for a little while until I get back?"

Cas gave him a pleading look, but Dean looked so happy that he didn't have it in him to say no. "Alright…"

Dean beamed, turning and snatching his coat and keys off the table by the door. "Be right back!"

Cas chewed his lip, not sure what to do. The silence became really awkward.

Ben curled up, twitching around and looking uncomfortable. "So…how do you know Dean?"

Cas hunched his shoulders, trying to look as small as possible. "I um…I'm just staying here for a while. Dean patched me up after I had an accident, and he's letting me stay with him for a while." Mostly true. Cas didn't know what Dean wanted him to say, so he kept it purposefully ambiguous.

When Dean came back he found Ben curled up with his head on Castiel's lap. It made his heart squeeze. He brushed his fingers through his Angel's hair, smiling at him. "I'm glad you got along."

"He's very asleep… I would feel bad waking him up." Cas looked down with a soft expression.

"I got everything for dinner. He'll be grumpy if he doesn't eat."

Cas chuckled when Dean gently shook Ben awake. The kid smiled at him, perking up immediately when Dean mentioned food.

Their dinner was presided by surprisingly warm and pleasant atmosphere. Cas was glad that he had gotten over his initial awkwardness. Ben was a sweet kid.

Cas beat Dean upstairs, saying a quick goodnight to Ben as Dean tucked him in on the couch downstairs.

The Angel was curled up in bed when Dean joined him, a soft smile on his lips.

"Ben is sweet." He snuggled into Dean's chest when he slipped under the covers.

"I'm glad you got along. He seemed to really like you. Lisa is going to pick him up tomorrow morning." Dean pressed their lips together gently. "So it will be just us again tomorrow."

**Author's notes: A fluffy chapter this time, because seriousness is coming soon. I hope you like it c: **


	8. Sammie

Sam returned to class as per usual when he got back to school. Not a lot had changed in the little sphere that was his life outside of meeting an Angel. He tried not to dwell on it too much. Just thinking about the enormity of it made his head spin.

One thing that changed the day after he got back was that there was a new girl in his Sociology class.

Sam took his usual seat in class, surprised when the tiny girl came to sit next to him. She turned and gave him a friendly smile. "Hey, you're Sam right?"

He returned her smile. "Yeah, Sam Winchester." He held out his hand and she shook it in the tiny space between their seats.

Her smile didn't fade. "Raquelle, but call me Rocky. I just transferred here, had to get away from my crazy ex." She shrugged and her bubblegum pink hair braid slid over her shoulder as she turned back to the front of the class where the teacher had just come in.

Sam found himself more interested in the girl next to him than the class. He sat there and found himself transfixed by the piercings ringing her ear. Usually he wasn't really into that kind of thing, but something about her seemed to draw him in.

He sputtered when she turned her light blue eyes on him. "Do you understand this question?" She held out her notebook and he took it, focusing on the problem to avoid staring at her like a freak.

"Um, yeah it's up in your notes right here." He pointed to the nicely written note above the question.

She grinned at him. "Oh, yeah thanks."

Sam forced himself to pay attention to the class, trying to take good notes and trying his best not to go back to staring at the girl next to him.

In the last twenty minutes of class Sam felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and looked guiltily at Rocky.

"Would you like to go out for coffee or something?" She smiled, looking up at him with her soft blue eyes.

Sam chewed his lip. "Uh, sure." He was soft of single now right? Jessica was out on an internship for the rest of the year, so they were on a very extended break anyway…

Rocky gathered up her things, giving Sam another smile before slipping into the horde of people leaving class. Sam sat there for a minute staring after her.

He hadn't even heard the professor dismiss them.

The coffee date turned into dinner, then lunch together every day, and then extended weekends studying in the library and Sam felt a bit like a lovesick High School kid. Sam couldn't remember the last time he got along with anyone so well. Rocky was sweet, funny, smart, literally everything Sam could want in a girl, and he was falling hard for her. He hadn't told Dean about it, but it had been a few months now and the relationship had turned out to be pretty serious, so Sam figured he should spill soon or Dean would get pissy.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket Sam hit the speed dial for Dean and held the body-warmed plastic up to his ear as it rang.

"Hey little brother, what's up?"

"Hey Dean, I just wanted to see if I could come over and introduce you to my new girlfriend this weekend. I figured you'd get pissy about it if I didn't bring her over soon."

Dean gave an appreciative huff. "Um sure, I guess that's cool. Why don't you guys bring a salad or something that you like and we'll have dinner. I'm sure Cas would love to have company to cook for again."

Sam smiled at the memory of the Angel. "Sounds great. Just remind him to keep the whole Angel thing on wraps, I don't want her to think I'm nuts."

"Sure, no problem. How about Saturday night? About 7?"

Sam heard the shuffle of Dean pinning the phone with his shoulder. "Sounds good. See you Dean."

"Yeah, bye Sammie."

Sam shoved his phone back in his pocket after sending a quick text to Rocky about his plans. He ran his fingers through his hair, tapping his pen on his lip as he worked on revising his paper. "I hope she likes them."

There was snow on the trees when Sam pulled into Dean's driveway. It was still a few weeks until Christmas, but it sure had gotten cold fast. He slipped his hand into Rocky's as they walked up to the front door. They got almost all the way up to the door when she froze in place.

"Um, Sam?"

Sam turned, looking down at her worried expression. "What is it? Don't worry about Dean, he'll like you just fine."

Her gaze fell and Sam squeezed her hand, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Really, don't worry about it."

Rocky sighed, tucking a stray stand of shocking pink hair behind her ear and visibly relaxing. "Sorry, I'm just not used to meeting family."

Sam gave her another reassuring smile before tugging her toward the door and knocking gently.

Dean pulled open the door with a surprisingly happy smile. Sam had noticed that Dean was far happier now that he had Castiel, and he was glad for it. The warm gold light from inside spilled out around Dean into the wintery air along with the rich smell of wonderfully made food that left Sam's mouth watering.

"Hey Sammie, you guys are just in time for dinner." Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder and stepped aside to let them in.

"So this is your girlfriend, Rocky right? Sam's been telling me about you." Dean held out his hand to shake, everyone jumping at the clattering of pots as Castiel skidded into view from the kitchen.

"Dean what-?" The Angel froze; fixing them with the most intense look Sam had ever seen.

After a few moments of extremely awkward silence Sam cleared his throat. "Um yeah hey Cas. This is Rocky, my girlfriend. Did Dean not tell you…?"

Cas seemed to shake himself, tearing his gaze from the cowering girl back to Sam's face. "Oh yes, I'm sorry."

Dean trailed over to the staunch looking Angel, twining their fingers. "C'mon guys, time to eat."

Rocky gave Sam a questioning look but he just squeezed her hand and lead her after Dean. "Nothing to worry about."

Dinner was lovely. Cas had gone all out, making a huge Christmas-worthy dinner just for the occasion. Ham with mashed potatoes and stuffing, and then a picturesque pie that had Dean salivating on himself.

"He makes the freaking best pies. I don't know how I ever survived without them." He grinned as he stole a slab of warm apple pie for himself before handing out slices to the rest of them.

The atmosphere was quite warm and comfortable, though Castiel seemed a bit on-edge for some reason that Sam couldn't understand. He didn't feel like bringing it up when everyone else was enjoying themselves so much. Once Rocky had gotten over her initial worry she seemed to be all right, joking with Dean and letting her hand rest on Sam's knee.

They would have stayed longer after dinner but Rocky said she had a paper to finish, and Sam had class in the morning and he knew if he stayed Dean would coax more and more beer into him until he had to stay.

"Aw c'mon Sammie, it's not that late, stay a bit longer." Dean tried to convince them to stay once more when Sam was helping Rocky into her coat.

"Sorry Dean, I'd love to but I can't. We'll come over again soon okay? Maybe over Christmas break." Sam gave his brother a big hug and waved as Castiel before slipping out into the cold behind his girlfriend.

Dean was curled up on the couch when Cas finished with the dinner dishes. The Angel had insisted on doing them himself and since he had been in a weird mood all night Dean hadn't protested. When Cas joined him Dean put his arm around the Angel's shoulders, letting him snuggle into his side.

"What's been up with you? You've been really distant today." Cas sighed, snuggling closer.

"Nothing Dean, I guess I'm just tired." He rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "Don't worry."

Dean fell asleep on the couch, snuggled up to Castiel's warmth. Cas pet his hair gently while Dean slept peacefully. The worry still burned in his chest from before.

What was he going to do now? He could go and get rid of the threat, but he didn't want to cause a scene. He should have just dealt with it when Sam came through the door. Even with his stunted powers his perception wasn't limited much, and he could see the monster that inhabited Sam's girlfriend. A demon, black and cold and monstrous to the extreme, leaving her be would endanger countless people, not just Sam. The smell of her evil clung to the house and made his skin crawl. Cas sighed. He didn't want to kill, and he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to smite her outright. Sam would probably be all right for a few more days; there was no reason for the demon to hurt him…and why would a demon want to be near him anyway? She obviously hadn't known about Castiel, from the terror in her eyes when she'd seen him. However she hadn't felt the same as the demons Cas remembered, and she had shown a more genuine kind of tenderness toward Sam than the Angel had ever seen. Should he tell Sam? All the possibilities swirled in his head and he felt a headache bloom behind his eyes. Scrubbing one of his hands over his face Cas scooted Dean off his lap, going to tidy up the house a bit more and try to clean off the residual stench of monster from the furniture. Maybe he could get Samadriel to deal with her…

Shrugging off the thought for the moment Cas continued to putter around the house. He felt the thrum of his Grace under his skin, but it made his skin prickle uncomfortably. It was burning in his chest and it made him feel slightly nauseous. The feeling had started earlier this morning, and Cas hoped it would go away soon, or at least become bearable...

He went and curled up on the couch after he had puttered himself out, tired from the headache and the tingling under his skin.

"Dean…c'mon, let's go to bed." He shook Dean gently, smiling at his annoyed groan. "Come on Dean, your back will hurt if you sleep on the couch."

Dean grumbled again, but pulled himself up, taking Castiel's hand and leading him upstairs. "Getting damn cold. Turn the heat up before we go to bed alright?"

"Of course Dean."

**Author's notes: I was going to have the next chapter be more serious, but I came up with some cute ideas, so I'm going to add those in before I move the plot along c: I hope that's alright. Let me know what you think. **


	9. Sweaters and Stars

Dean stretched, turning over and blinking in surprise when he found Castiel's side of the bed empty.

He pulled on some sweatpants and trailed down the stairs, running his fingers through his spiky hair and yawning again. "Cas? You here?"

Cas was curled up on the couch with Dean's laptop, focused intently on the screen.

"Cas? I didn't know you were so into the Internet." Dean plopped down onto the couch. "I didn't even know you knew how to use my computer."

Cas nodded absently. "I've been at it for a while. I just got it to work…"

"Mmm..." Dean leaned over and kissed the Angel's cheek. "What are you looking at?"

Cas blushed, he actually blushed, and Dean felt fuzzies of happiness bloom in his chest. His Angel was so cute.

Cas turned the computer so Dean could see. "I was looking at sweaters."

Dean struggled not to grin. "Sweaters? Really Cas?"

Cas chewed his lip. "Yes…They seem pleasant."

Dean gave him a kiss. "Order some then. I think you would look cute."

Cas nodded, his cheeks still red. "Okay Dean…"

Dean pulled himself up, ruffling Castiel's hair and trailing into the kitchen. "Want some breakfast Angel?"

Dean puttered around the kitchen, hoping Cas would let him cook for once. He liked cooking, he was good at cooking, but Cas always seemed so happy to do it so Dean didn't protest. The thought of his Angel in a big fluffy sweater made Dean smile. Maybe he would get Cas a Christmas sweater, even a big ugly one would look cute on him.

The thought put a smile on his face, as Dean tied the apron around his waist.

Christmas was soon, and he would have to get Cas something anyway. He bet the Angel would love Christmas.

Dean jumped when Cas came in and put his arms around Dean's hips. "What are you thinking about?" the Angel nuzzled his cheek into Dean's shoulder.

"I was thinking about Christmas. Are you excited for it?"

Cas sighed. "Though it seems a slightly silly holiday from the human's take on it, I am excited for the spirit of giving that I've heard of on commercials."

Dean cracked another egg into the pan. "Is there anything you would like for a present?"

Cas stood silently for a moment. "I can't think of anything…"

Dean turned and gave the Angel a quick kiss. "Well think of some things, and write them down so you don't forget. Anything you want Angel."

Cas nodded. "Okay Dean, I will…" He peered over Dean's shoulder at the cooking eggs. "Are you making breakfast?"

"Yeah, I figured you'd like the break." Dean kissed him gently. "Would you like to go on a drive tonight?" He flipped the eggs. "I know a really cool place where you can actually see the Milky Way."

"That would be nice Dean." Cas snuggled up closer. "Do you have to work today?"

Dean sighed. "I'm on call, but I don't have to go in unless they call me in."

Cas nodded, pulling away and going to set the table. "I have a headache today…" He chewed his lip. "I don't know why. I've never had this feeling before." The thrum of his Grace had been building to a particularly painful peak since last night.

Dean turned away from the eggs. "I think I have some painkillers…but I don't know how many you should take."

Cas sighed. "I'll be alright. Don't worry."

The two of them finished making breakfast and sat down to eat quietly, enjoying the warmth of each other's company.

Dean sank his teeth into his lip. "So Cas…how have things been going? On the Angel Mojo front?"

Cas dropped his gaze to the table. "Fine Dean. It's been progressing steadily for a while. I don't know how long until I'll be back at full power but…" He pushed his eggs around the plate. "Everything is fine." It wasn't entirely true but he didn't want to burden Dean with things the human couldn't hope to understand.

Dean had to run into the hospital to preside over a surgery not long after they were done with breakfast, and he was gone for a few hours. Cas tidied up the house a bit more, then curled up on the couch to take a nap in hopes it would help with his headache.

It didn't.

When Dean came back Cas hadn't moved from the couch, and the sun was going down.

"Hey Angel, you okay?" Dean shucked off his coat and brushed his fingers through Castiel's hair.

Cas nodded, looking up at him slowly. "Yes, I'm fine Dean, just took a nap…"

Dean sat down by him, continuing to brush the strands of hair back off his forehead.

"I still want to go on that drive Dean…" Cas sat up slowly. "It would be fun…"

Dean smiled. "Okay Cas, we'll go then." He felt worry seep into his mind but he pushed it away. "I'll pack us some snacks and stuff, just lay there for a while longer okay?"

Cas nodded again, curling back into himself and sighing happily when Dean tucked a blanket around him.

Dean packed up the Impala with blankets and enough food and beer to last them a week, even though he knew there was no way they would eat it all, but he liked to be prepared.

He left the heater on high to get the car nice and warm before he went to get Cas.

"C'mon Angel, it'll be fun." He helped Cas off the couch, and into the car.

The ride was quiet, even with Dean tapping on the steering wheel to his favorite Metallica album. Cas alternated between watching the scenery flash by through the window and smiling softly at Dean.

"What is it Angel? Got something to say?" Dean returned his smile.

"No, nothing to say." Cas stuffed his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"Oh hey Cas, there's a bag in the back seat. I got you something today on my way back from the hospital." Dean smiled at him, hoping he would like it.

Cas twisted, digging through the back until he found the bag. "What is it?" He pulled out the fluffy sweater and grinned. "Oh Dean thank you." He shrugged off his coat, tugging the warm fabric over his head. "This is wonderful."

Dean looked over at his Angel, his smile growing when he saw Cas in the soft yellow sweater. "You look adorable Cas."

"Thank you Dean." He examined the pattern of the knit. "It's wonderful." It fit well too, baggy enough to be comfortable and long enough that he could stretch his arms out without the cuffs riding up to his wrists.

Dean pulled off at the next turn, pulling into the center of the huge field and putting the Impala in park. "C'mon Huggy Bear, let's look at the stars."

Cas pushed open the door, crawling onto the hood with Dean as he pulled some blankets over them. The metal was still warm from the drive and it was very comfortable.

Dean rested his head on Castiel's chest, looking up at the mass of stars above them. "It's great here. My dad took me and Sammie here when we were little."

"I like it." Cas snuggled closer to Dean's warmth.

Dean drifted off after a while, and Cas stayed with his eyes on the stars. His brothers were up there, could they see him? Did they miss him? A sudden stab of homesickness assaulted him and the Angel dropped his gaze to Dean asleep on his chest.

If he returned to Heaven he would have to leave Dean… He wasn't sure if he could. The thought made his chest ache. That must be what love is. What was he supposed to do? He was an Angel, he belonged in Heaven, but he didn't want to leave Dean…

**Author's Notes: Some more serious storyline coming soon. I couldn't resist adding this little chapter.**


	10. Goodbye Stranger

Cas stayed curled around Dean as the other man slept. The Angel had been sleeping less and less lately and now he rarely slept because of fatigue. His eyes eventually slipped closed anyway after a while longer, Dean's body heat warming him to the depth of his heart.

He woke in a room. A beautiful room decorated in ornate paintings and even more ornate moldings. The paintings were of Angels, and Cas could name them. Michael, there were several of Michael, Gabriel, Raphael…The room was filled with sparkling gold and lovely creamy white. There was a chair upholstered in red crushed velvet, only one chair at the table, and the pattern of tiles covering the floor was so clean they reflected almost like a mirror.

Cas stood silently, turning slowly to take everything in. He remembered this place, vaguely.

"Hey bro."

Standing across the room from him was another person he remembered with gathering clarity.

"Gabriel."

"Long time no see. Did you miss me?"

Castiel shoved his hands in his pockets. "Not particularly."

Gabriel winced theatrically, striding around the table and throwing his arm around Cas. "That's rude little brother, and I came bearing good news too."

Cas sank his teeth into his lip, shrinking away from Gabriel's embrace. "Just tell me Gabriel, I have things I should be doing."

The Archangel chuckled. "Oh yes, like partaking in plenty of sin with that lovely surgeon."

Cas felt his posture stiffen even more, shaking off the awkward embrace. "What do you want Gabriel?"

Gabriel grinned. "I've been told to bring you back to Heaven. You did something right apparently and they're welcoming you back. Though maybe not quite with open arms, you know our family."

Castiel nodded, he did remember how they could be. "They'll take me to prison."

"Most likely. That'll be fun, don't you think?" Gabriel grabbed his shoulder, turning to face him, as his expression grew serious. "Castiel, this is serious. I'm here to give you a heads up. Get your things together. They're coming to pick you up tonight. I know about you and that human, and I wanted to give you a chance to say goodbye. You can't stay on Earth Castiel, Angels don't belong there, and things will just get worse and worse unless you return to Heaven. If you try to resist they will come after you. You know our family."

Cas stared at him for a long moment before he nodded. "Yes…thank you Gabriel…"

The Archangel nodded, squeezing his brother's shoulder. "Go."

The flutter of wings filled the room and Castiel disappeared, the settings on the table shaking with the force of his departure.

Dean woke to a kiss, smiling and curling into the Angel's warmth as the dew gathered on their blankets. They hadn't meant to stay out all night, but it hadn't been worth driving back.

"Morning." He buried his nose in Castiel's shoulder and breathed in happily. "You smell like ozone, where have you been?" He looked up.

Castiel's expression turned sad and he shook his head, immediately covering it up with a soft smile. "Just off looking around. I made breakfast for us." He pressed their lips together gently once more.

Dean pulled Cas back into bed with his arms around his waist, burying his nose in the back of the Angel's neck. "What would you like to do today?"

Cas snuggled into his chest. "Whatever you'd like to do." He tried to breath in as much of the human's scent as possible. Just the thought of leaving made it hard to breathe.

"Well before we do anything I need my shower and my cup of coffee." Dean pressed their lips together again. "Let's get back to civilization."

The ride back was silent, Cas stared blankly out the window, the worried swirling around his head and making hos headache start even earlier for today.

Dean helped Cas lug everything back inside, then he bounced off claiming the need for an immediate shower.

Cas curled up on the couch, trying not to think about the few hours he had left with Dean ticking away.

Plodding up the stairs Cas intercepted Dean on his way out of the shower, a towel clinging to his waist.

"What do you think Angel, this one?" he held up two shirts. "Or this one?"

Cas smiled. "The green one." He kissed Dean's nose. "Brings out your eyes."

Dean smiled, tipping Castiel's chin up to kiss him again. "You're turning me into a sap Cas."

The Angel chuckled. "Get dressed. I'd like to go to the park."

Dean grinned. "Alright, I'm hurrying."

The creak of the Impala's doors closing was a now familiar sound that Cas found almost comforting. He found himself noticing even the littlest things, trying to commit them all to memory. Curling up in the warm leather seat of Dean's car Cas enjoyed even the short drive to the park.

Dean twined their hands together as they wandered along the path, coming to a wrought-iron bench and perching on it. "You've seemed preoccupied today, what's wrong?"

Cas blinked at him. "Nothing Dean, don't worry."

They spent a few hours at the park, just enjoying each other's company silently, Cas resting his head on Dean's shoulder.

Even when they got home Cas felt the tumult of emotions swirling through his chest. "Dean…"

Dean looked up from his mouthful of hamburger, smiling sweetly. "Mmm?"

Cas popped a fry in his mouth. "Nothing, don't worry."

They curled up together in bed, Dean carding his fingers absently through Castiel's hair. "Love you…"

Cas twisted, pressing their lips together and snuggling closer. "I love you too Dean."

Dean chuckled when the Angel's fingers tickled over his ribs. "Tease~"

Castiel's smile widened into their kiss.

Cas pulled away as the clock ticked down his final minutes, brushing his fingers over Dean's cheek before slipping down the stairs.

After he set his folded coat carefully on the table, tacking the note to the top and standing for a moment as he tried to compose himself before he disappeared in a flutter of wings.

When Dean woke the sun was leaking in through his window. He was surprised to find the other side of the bed was cold. "Mmm?"

Pulling himself up he tottered down the stairs. "Cas?"

When there was no answer he looked around, making his way into the kitchen and spying the coat on the table. Tearing the note off the top Dean felt his heart sink as he read it.

_Dean,_

_ I'll be back as soon as I can. I know that I promised I wouldn't leave, but I wasn't given a choice. Thank you for showing me the beauty that still exists on Earth._

_ You saved me,_

_ Castiel_

Dean reread the note a few times, the words sinking in slowly. In the next breath he was tearing through the house, looking desperately for his Angel. "Cas! Where are you? I know you can hear me! Get your feathery ass down here!"

He stood in the hall, feeling his heart threaten to shatter. "Cas…" He swayed, leaning against the wall to keep from collapsing. He felt tears burn in his eyes and he swallowed hard to keep them back.

Cas was gone.

**Author's notes: Thank you for everyone who has stuck around for already 10 chapters!**


	11. Little Boy

Dean couldn't skip work, but he could tell he was annoying the nurses with his lack of concentration, but he was engulfed in his own thoughts, trying not to dwell on the strangling pain in his chest at the thought of returning home to an empty house.

Dean nibbled on the end of his pen as he sat, waiting for his intern to show up. Josh has been a bit scatter-brained since he started, and Angela had shifted him from the attention of nurses onto him, and even though Dean was glad to have his very own intern to show around he was still worried.

He looked up at a knock on his door, giving a small smile. "Hey Josh." Dean stood, shaking the lanky Asian's hand.

Josh smiled at him, his hand dropping back to his side. "So I'm here to help with whatever you need. Angie told me you've never had an intern before."

Dean nodded, standing and tucking his hands in his pockets. "Yeah well, first time for everything. C'mon." He led his new intern out of his office and down the hall. "First patient of the afternoon is in here."

Dean quickly decided he liked having an intern, even if Josh was a bit clumsy and he tended to mess up things in a ridiculous way he was sweet and earnest and he really did try. He was kind of like Cas.

No he was not going to think about Cas. He had avoided thinking about Cas and the feathery ass was not going to distract him.

His ringing phone however was.

Dean excused himself to the hall before he pulled his phone out of his coat. It was Lisa. "Lisa I can't talk right now I'm at work."

Lisa sighed. "Dean it's Ben. He's sick… I can't take care of him this afternoon; I got put on a double shift. Can you please come and take care of him? I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was important."

Dean felt worry burn in his chest. "Oh yeah, I can come get him after my shift, it ends at two." He smiled. "It's nice to hear from you Lisa."

Lisa chuckled on the other end. "Yeah, you too Dean, see you later."

Dean stuffed his phone back in his pocket, immersing himself in work for the last few hours of his shift.

When he finished with his last patient of the day Dean slid into the soft leather seats of his Baby, turning the key and smiling as the engine roared to life. Easing into the stream of traffic Dean let himself sing along to the music pumping from his speakers, forgetting for a few moments about all the worries that had been plaguing him.

He pulled into Lisa's driveway, pushing the car door open and knocking on the bright red door.

Lisa answered looking flustered, worry evident in her expression. Ben must have really been sick.

"Sorry I'm late. Is Ben ready?"

Lisa stepped aside, leading Dean inside and to Ben curled up on the couch. "Ben baby, Dean is here."

Ben looked up, blinking filmy eyes at them and giving Dean a small smile. "Hey Dean…"

Dean crossed the space to the couch, brushing his fingers through Ben's hair. "Hey kiddo. How you feelin?"

Ben shrugged, yawning and curling up tighter into his blankets.

"C'mon, let's go." He grabbed the backpack full of essentials that Lisa handed him and Ben pulled himself up slowly, giving his mom a hug before trailing after Dean.

When they got back to the house Dean dropped is bag and lead Ben into the living room. They snuggled up on the couch, Ben's head against Dean's shoulder. Dean flipped through TV channels, worried by the heat that poured off his son.

Ben stretched out, wincing and holding his ribs.

Dean turned to look at him, worry settling in his gut. "What's wrong?"

Ben sighed. "Tired…I feel like I've been tired forever…" He looked up at Dean with filmy eyes. "And…" He lifted his shirt, showing off a plethora of bruises littering his chest.

Dean sat up, the bruises making his chest ache. "What happened?" He brushed his fingers over the ugliest most swollen bruises.

Ben shook his head. "I don't know…I've been finding these random bruises all over. I poked myself with my pencil eraser and it made a bruise…" He coughed, doubling over as he struggled to catch his breath. "I-I hate it."

Dean's brain switched into overtime as he tried to map out Ben's symptoms. "Ben… I think I need to take you to the hospital."

Ben shook his head. "Don't wanna…" He rested his head back on Dean's shoulder, breathing shallowly. "Want to take a nap…"

Dean brushed his fingers through Ben's hair. "…okay kiddo, we don't have to go right now…" the worry continued to burn in his chest. "Get some rest and I'll talk to your mom later."

When Lisa came to pick Ben up the next morning, her son looked worse. He had shadows under his eyes and his cough had worsened. He had told Dean when he woke up that his shoulders hurt, and how he was babying one of his knees.

Dean pulled Lisa aside, worry evident on his expression as Ben huffed with each breath.

"Lisa…we need to take him to the hospital, he's really sick…"

Lisa chewed her lip. "Alright I…I'll take him this afternoon." She didn't want to take him in, but it looked like there was no avoiding it.

"Alright. I have shift today, so I'll be there." Dean squeezed her shoulder and handed her Ben's backpack before going to clean himself up for work.

Dean tried his best not to worry too much about Ben while he was at work, glad that it was relatively busy to keep him from having time to think about everything bad that could be wrong with his son.

He was getting ready to leave when Josh grabbed his arm, towing him toward the emergency care ward. Before he could get a word in edge-wise he pushed past Josh when he saw a familiar mop of brown hair on a bed.

"Ben!" He rushed over, the worry he had been repressing all day returning in full force.

Lisa was collapsed in a chair, barely able to control herself. Dean rushed over to her next, firing questions.

"What happened? You said you were going to bring him in this afternoon!"

Lisa looked up at him, her eyes blown wide with worry. "He collapsed, he started stumbling and I think he had a seizure. Dean please…"

Dean squeezed her shoulder, rushing back to Ben as they wheeled him into the ICU.

Twenty minutes later they had Ben stable and asleep. Only then did Dean go back to check on Lisa. When she saw him she jumped up, worry still radiating from her.

"He's stable, but he's not in good condition. Why didn't you bring him in earlier Lisa?"

She shook her head, slumping her shoulders and worrying her lip. "I was too busy, I know that sounds ridiculous but I just had some things to get done and more and more things showed up and I just kept putting it off…" She started to shake, tears beading in her eyes.

Dean pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on him for a minute. "Shh, it's alright…" He pet her hair, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "He'll be okay, I'll take care of him."

She pulled away a few moments later, scrubbing at her face. "Thank you Dean…"

He gave her a warm smile, turning when one of the nurses came to give him an update.

"Yeah Angie, I'm coming, thanks." He tossed another reassuring smile at Lisa before he followed the nurse back to the ICU.

Ben was curled up in a bed, looking small and frail under all the blankets with the tubes hooked up to him. Dean brushed his fingers through his son's hair, turning to look at Angie. "What's wrong with him?"

Angie sighed, looking at the clipboard in her hand. "We need to run more tests, but from his symptoms it looks like it could be a lot of things…"

Dean chewed his lip, worry etched into his expression. "We have to help him…we have to."

Angie nodded, "We will Dean. I promise. The results will be back tomorrow. Get some rest and don't make yourself sick with worry." She tapped her pen against his cheek. "And go help Josh, he has new procedures to learn and you're the best suited to teach him."

Dean nodded. "Okay, I'll go find him."

Dean found Josh just as a nurse approached him about setting some broken bones in a lady that had just come in.

"Come on Josh, I'll show you how we put in plates."

A few moments later, after they had the woman nicely set up and Dean made a clean incision along the patient's leg, looking over the tools he was provided with on his silver tray before speaking. "Okay so we've cauterized the blood vessels and since this fracture is quite large we're going to use a steel plate."

Once he put in the plate Dean stepped back, telling Josh to take over and do the other one. He watched his poor intern pale, but step forward anyway, determined to do a good job.

Dean praised Josh when he was finished, happy with his work. "You did really great Josh."

The lanky Asian flushed, mumbling to himself and stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I heard about your son… I'm sorry Dean…"

Dean felt himself tense. "Yeah…Ben. He's a sweet kid. I'm really worried about him… Keep your fingers crossed for him okay? It's just another level of stress in my life…"


	12. Angels and Sins

Cas woke up in a painfully white cell, the walls seemed to glow faintly and he honestly couldn't see where they ended. It looked like his cell went on forever, but he still felt claustrophobic at the same time. He twisted and saw that there were bars on one wall, like a proper human prison cell. He felt weak, they must have drained his Grace, and it was enough to leave him panting with the effort it took to sit up.

He couldn't remember getting here, the last thing he remembered was leaving Dean's house. He had gone to sit at the park for his last few moments before his brothers collected him, but apparently they had been more efficient than he had expected. Now there was a dull throb in the back of his head and he dimly registered the difference from the feeling of Earth. Though he was glad to be out of the strange limbo of being somewhere between human and Angel there was a strange ache of missing something. Cas shook his head. Of course he was more than he had been, so what was there to miss?

It was pleasant to see with his true Eyes but there was a distinct claustrophobic feeling on the edge of his thoughts that he couldn't shake. He was truly an Angel crammed into a Vessel again, even though he had inhabited the same form since before he Fell. The body had become his as he experienced things on Earth. The thought of leaving it made his chest ache, but it felt too full in here, like he had expanded and overfilled his own skin. Cas hoped it would go away.

Castiel looked up when he heard footsteps, his eyes slow to focus on the Angel approaching him.

"Aion…"

The Angel was dressed in standard Angel attire, a dark suit jacket and pants and an impeccably white shirt, his hair slicked back nicely even though a few strands of his brown hair were stubbornly sticking out. Aion's gaze was icy, a deeper blue than Castiel's own eyes, but glowing softly with barely concealed anger.

"Why are you here brother?" Cas tried to stand, but found he couldn't get the strength, so he just stayed sitting. "Do you have news?"

Aion tisked, folding his arms at the bitter mess of an Angel he was faced with. "I think you're disgusting to associate with him, and you deserve to be in prison. Humanity is flawed and ugly."

Cas shook his head, surprised by the anger in his Brother's voice. "Aion, you don't understand. There is something worthwhile in humanity, you just can't see it from up here."

Aion frowned, gritting his teeth at the other Angel's response. "You're an Angel Castiel, a good soldier. You used to be better than this. He's a non-believer."

Cas felt his gaze fall. "He is a righteous man, even though he doesn't seem devout, I can see it." He pulled his gaze up. "When can I leave, Aion?"

Castiel gasped when Aion grabbed the front of his shirt, yanking him against the bars with a snarl. "You can never leave! Why should you get special treatment?" He stepped through the bars, slamming his fist into Castiel's jaw before dropping him to the floor and planting his foot in Castiel's ribs. "You need to get over yourself, you're a soldier, be a soldier and do as you're told!" He picked up Cas again, smashing his fist right into his Brother's nose and smiling when he felt the cartilage crack. Dropping the stunned Angel back on the floor and stepping back through the bars of the cell.

Cas stayed still on the floor, a soft moan of pain peeled from his lips.

Aion folded back his wings, peeling his gaze away from the Angel on the floor with a sigh. "Once you clean up your act and remember your mission you can leave this cell. Stop polluting Heaven with your sin." He glared at Cas for a few moments before disappearing with a flutter of feathers.

Cas blinked at the space where Aion had been standing, confused by the abruptness of his departure. He groaned, hissing in pain as he tried to turn over, feeling his ribs and trying to staunch his bleeding nose. He didn't understand why everyone seemed so angry with him. Even deep in his memories, that seemed to be returning more and more quickly, he saw no reason for them all to be so upset. After a few more moments of consideration Cas just flopped back down on the floor of his cell, the strain of sitting up for so long leaving him exhausted.

Cas dozed for a while, too tired and hurt to move but surprised that he could sleep. It must have been a muscle memory from his time spent as a human. He was tired, so he slept. The sound of more footsteps pulled his eyes open and he turned to look up at which Angel who had come to visit him now.

"Hello Castiel…"

Cas tipped his head, pulling himself up laboriously from the floor and returning the first smile he had seen since he had returned to Heaven, glad that his nose seemed to have stopped bleeding while he rested, but he still held his ribs.

"Hello Brother. It's been too long Jasper."

The little blond Angel had his hands in his pockets, but he had a small smile on his lips that made Castiel's heart squeeze with happiness.

He knelt down, sitting on the iridescent floor and peering through the bars so that their faces were at the same level. "Far too long if you ask me." Jasper crossed his long legs, running his fingers through his downy blond hair absently. "I do not approve of the way they're treating you…" His eyes raked over the blood that had dripped down the side of Castiel's neck.

Cas sighed, staring down at his hands and trying to wipe any residual blood on his pants. "I guess I deserve it." He flicked his gaze back up to the fidgeting Angel across from him. "Do you have news for me Jasper?"

Jasper shook his head. "Sorry, I don't. I wish I could be of more help."

Cas sighed, his shoulders slumping. "It's alright." The memories of his time spent training Jasper filtered to the surface of his mind and he grinned. "How have things been for you?"

Jasper shrugged. "I'm a Captain now, thanks to what you taught me."

"That's wonderful." Cas stretched his arms over his head, sighing happily when his back popped. "Do you have any idea why Aion is so upset with me?"

Jasper flushed, his fidgeting redoubling. "Well Aion…he's…"

Jasper was cut off by the flutter of wings, the little blond turning quickly to see the very Angel they had been talking about a moment ago.

"Aion…"

Castiel felt the anger coursing from Aion as he stood there, the anger tainting the air until Cas felt the hairs on his arms stand on end. Jasper jumped up, stepping in front of the wrathful Angel. "Aion!"

Cas gasped when Aion slammed Jasper into the bars. "Aion! Leave him be!"

Aion ignored him, smashing his fist into Jasper's face. "You were told not to talk to him!"

Jasper whimpered in pain when Aion dropped him on the floor, stunned from the pain. The wrathful Angel turned to Castiel next. "I'm not finished with you yet." He disappeared again, leaving Cas staring in equal parts shock and confusion.

Jasper pulled himself up after a few moments, cradling his nose.

"What was that about?" Cas scooted closer to the bars, wishing he could help his friend.

Jasper shook his head, wincing at the movement. "I was told not to come talk to you. I'd hoped that I could by without him catching me."

Cas sighed. "I'm sorry…What has Aion so upset? I don't really understand…"

Jasper flushed. "It's a long story." He leaned his head back as blood dripped from his nose. "I'm going to go and deal with this. I'll come visit you again."

The silence invaded one again, and Castiel flopped back onto the floor of his painfully white cell. He couldn't understand why the other Angels were acting this way. Aion was usually quite agreeable. Castiel's bruised ribs still ached faintly as his Grace fixed them. "I miss Dean…"

Jasper fixed his nose in a few moments, but he took some time to relax in his personal favorite Heaven. The attack from Aion had been a surprise, but he should have seen it coming. The other Angel was clearly upset… A niggling feeling in the back of Jasper's head made him stand. Trailing through the halls of executive Heaven, which he had always found a bit silly, Jasper felt eyes on him and he turned, surprised to find himself face to face with Aion.

"Hello again Brother." He shrank into himself.

Aion stared, sinking his teeth into his lip. "I'm sorry Jasper…That was out of line."

Japer shrugged, taking a step back and hunching his shoulders. "It's alright Aion, you were upset and…" Aion pulled his chin up with a gentle touch, brushing his thumb over Jasper's cheek.

"I'm still sorry."

Jasper opened his mouth to reassure Aion that it was alright, but what about Castiel, when he was distracted by the sensation of lips on his.

Aion's expression was gentler when he pulled away. "Naomi wanted to see you. Why don't you come and see me after, we can spend some time together."

Jasper nodded, a flush rising to his cheeks. He had still not entirely adjusted to this change in relationship with Aion, none of the others knew, but it didn't really bother Jasper. Aion had been worried about the repercussions, so they had kept it secret, from everyone. If Naomi wanted to see him it was something bad, hopefully it wasn't related.

When Jasper pushed the door to her office open Naomi was sitting at her desk looking perfectly in order as she always did.

"You wanted to see me?"

She gestured for him to sit in one of the utilitarian blue chairs in front of her desk, which he awkwardly perched upon. "I have a mission for you."

Jasper stared at her, surprise and worry and excitement blooming in his chest. "What is it?"

Naomi straightened her spine. "I need you to go to Earth and deal with this Dean Winchester."

Jasper frowned. "You mean kill him..."

Naomi nodded, a curt bob of her head. "He is a pollutant to Castiel's mind, and we need him to come back to us."

A thick moment of silence grew between them before Jasper straightened his shoulder and stood. "Yes ma'am."

Naomi shifted her gaze past him. "Oh, and if you fail, don't come back."

**Author's notes: Sorry that it's taken me so long to get this new chapter done, college and pokemon have been eating my life. I hope that you all are continuing to enjoy the story c: **


	13. Angels and Sins Section I Forgot

**Author's notes: Okay I got ahead of myself and posted Chapter 12 before I decided to add another part, so here's a little extra section. Sorry :l **

Jasper went to see Aion first after he left Naomi's office, nerves coiled so tight in his chest he felt like he was going to explode.

As soon as Aion saw him he rushed over, cradling Jasper's face in his hands, worry etched into his expression. "What did she say?"

Jasper crumpled into Aion's embrace, though he usually held himself back he soaked up the comfort in the other Angel's warmth.

"She wants me to go to Earth and kill Dean Winchester…"

Aion sighed, brushing his thumb over Jasper's cheek again. "So you have to go to Earth?"

Jasper nodded morosely.

Aion smiled "There is a human expression that is fitting for this situation. I believe it is about "last night on Earth", or something similar." A sly smile had made its way onto Aion's lips.

Jasper reddened, sinking his teeth into his lip. "Is it supposed to be a flirtation?"

Aion smirked, catching Jasper's chin in his fingers again before pressing their lips together. "Yes."

Castiel was surprised by Jasper's state when the Angel returned to see him again, his hair standing up in all directions and his clothes rumpled.

"Are you alright brother?" Cas sat up slowly, still annoyingly unable to stand.

Jasper sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, worrying it for a moment before answering. "Yes, I'm fine." He tried to smooth his shirt but the wrinkles seemed to be determined to stay.

Cas blinked at him, a slow smile sliding across his lips. "You look a bit flushed brother." He scooted closer. "Who were you playing with~?"

A spectacular blush rose to Jasper's cheeks and he sputtered. "W-what in the world do you mean?"

Cas didn't lose his small smile. "I have only seen someone look like that after they have been engaging in sin." The memories of Dean looking just that way made Castiel's smile widen.

Jasper looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him. "T-that's not why I'm here. Naomi has sent me on a mission, to Earth. I'm leaving in a few moments."

Cas raised an eyebrow, wondering what Naomi could have possibly wanted Jasper to do. "I see, travel safely."

Jasper nodded, chewing on his lip again. "Thank you brother. I will. I hope that when I return you will be freed."

Cas dropped his gaze to the floor. "I as well." When he looked up Jasper was gone, and he was alone in the bright white silence again.


	14. The Winchesters

Dean threw his jacket on the couch, running his hand over his face and trying to scrub out the exhaustion. He hadn't slept well since Cas left, even worse with all the stress that had been piling up on him. He had been avoiding going home as much as possible, hating the emptiness and the memories that assaulted him every time he came back. The countless hours racked up at the bar down the street from the hospital were eclipsing his time spent at home trying to sleep.

Angie had said she would call him as soon as Ben's results came in, and then she had made him leave, sent him home without another word, so how here he was.

Dean stayed on the couch for a while, staring blankly at the television and sipping from a glass of whiskey. His phone ringing made him jump, and the sight of his Dad's name on the caller ID surprised him even more. It had been several months since he'd heard from his Dad.

"Hey Dad, what's up?"

"Hey boy, just wanted to check up on you, see how things were. Your mother's been pesterin me and I've been forgetting to do it."

Dean smiled at his Dad's voice, wondering where in the world he would even start on how his life had been. "Things have been alright, stressful."

"Why don't you come have a drink with me, at the bar on 8th. It's been too long."

"Hell yeah it has. I'll be there in a half hour, sound good?" Dean stood, grabbing his coat.

"Sounds good, see you soon Dean."

Dean stuffed his phone back in his pocket, pulling his coat on and grabbing his keys. He needed to spend some time with his family, why had it taken him this long to think of it.

John was waiting for him at the bar, handing him a drink and slapping him on the shoulder. "Long time no see Boy."

Dean smiled at him, flopping onto the bar stool and sipping from the glass of perfectly strong whiskey. One of the many things he and his dad had in common was whiskey.

"How've things been? You look tired." John rested his elbow on the smooth surface of the bar, turning to look at his son.

Dean shrugged, really really not feeling like going into it right now. "Aggravating as usual."

John smiled. "Well it's nice to see you anyway. Mary has been talking about missing you, you should swing by some time."

"Yeah Dad, I will." Dean took another long drink from his glass.

They spent a little too long at the bar, and drank a little too much, and John managed to convince Dean to come home to visit his mother, and that got them in the Impala.

Mary was waiting for them in the kitchen, puttering around and, to Dean's delight, putting the finishing touches on a pie.

"Hey mom."

She spun, a gleaming smile on her face as she pulled Dean into a tight hug. "Dean, it's so nice to see you!"

John stole a dollop of the whipped cream adorning the top of the pie while Mary's back was turned, an innocent smile finding its way onto his face when she pulled away from Dean.

"You're just in time for pie too, apple cranberry." She gave John a look, not missing the track in the perfect layer of fluffy whiteness.

Dean sat at the table, a happy grin on his face when his Mom handed him a plate with a perfect slice of pie and a fork. It was still warm and Dean let out a little moan of happiness with his first bite.

"Mom, this is amazing."

They sat around the table, catching up and filling Dean with a genuine feeling of happiness. It had been way too long since the last time they had just sat around and talked like this, and the tension that had piled up on his shoulders seemed to melt away.

Mary talked him into staying the night, since he had drunk a bit more with John and was probably a little over the limit. He curled up on the couch, blushing when his Mom kissed him on the forehead.

"Geeze mom, I'm an adult."

Mary ruffled his hair. "You'll always be little to me. Get some rest."

Dean lay awake for a while after John and Mary went upstairs, the worry he had been avoiding all day coming back with a vengeance as he thought about Ben.

He had nearly fallen asleep when his phone buzzed. It took everything he had just to pick it up and open the message. It was well past two in the morning, so it made sense that Angie had texted him instead of calling. Dean felt his heart drop though the floor at the two-word message.

_ Positive. Leukemia._

Dean stared at the screen until it blurred out, fighting the knot in his chest as he tried his best not to break down sobbing. He didn't respond, he wouldn't know what to say anyway.

What was he going to say to Lisa? To Ben? They would have to start Ben on treatment as soon as possible, but the laundry list of side effects made his head swim.

He pulled himself up, drifting to the kitchen and pulling a clean cup out of the cupboard and tipping some of his Dad's whiskey into it. Dean found himself staring blankly at the wall across from the kitchen table, his mind unable to focus on anything and turning his thoughts into a sickening swirl of emotions.

Definitely gonna need more whiskey.

**Author's notes: Short little chapter with some Mama and Papa Winchester. I couldn't resist. Poor Dean is really not having a good time. **


End file.
